In a previous post we explored the need for honesty in quieting the mind and attaining deeper states in meditation. This is, however, just one side of the coin. The other side is what we can learn about our mind and our psychology from observing the contents of our mental processes during meditation. Again though, in order to be successful, ruthless honesty is a prerequisite.

While meditating the mind frequently jumps in and usurps attention. We can try to ignore it and that is very useful, but we can also take a different tack and investigate its content. This can be revelatory. It can provide great insights into the nature of our mental processes and what is most important to us. But, we have to do it with honesty and sincerity.

When we become aware that our mind has been wandering, rather than returning to quieting the mind look at the mental content that came up during mind wandering. Investigate how you got to this particular content. Trace the train of thought that brought you to this point. What initiated the mind wandering in the first place and what were the series of associations and leaps.

Now ask yourself why was this content elicited. Why was this somehow important to the mind that it brought this particular content into awareness. Often it is simple and mundane such as an environmental sound attracting attention away from focus and the train of thought that follows is fairly linear and straightforward. But often it is not so obvious. That is where investigation can be quite revealing. Ask yourself, why did this particular content come up and why is this somehow important to the mind.

This can lead to understanding deep inner needs, unresolved issues and conflicts, and unrealized emotions. The mind is seeking them out and that is an important clue. Pursue it deeply and honestly. It can reveal much about yourself, some of which you may not like, but understanding that whatever it is, it is somehow important to you. Open to it and learn.

Most of our practice should be focused on calming the mind. But, occasionally investigating what arises even though were trying to stay quiet, can lead to greater understanding and can actually lead to a better ability to calm the mind in the future.

Let’s be honest and look at ourselves deeply and clearly.

CMCS

Contemplative practice requires total honesty, not with others, but with ourselves. Our minds can invent all kinds of bogus reasons for anything. It takes insight and the willingness to be brutally honest to take maximum advantage of the fruits of contemplative practice.

The first honest admission is that we cannot control our minds. This is a radical idea for most as we believe that we have complete control. So we try and try and try to control it without success. A little reflection will unveil the truth. It’s not under our control. So, rather than go to war against the mind, successful contemplative practice demands that we be are completely honest with ourselves and admit, that we can’t control it.

That admission, by itself, can lead to a much more relaxed approach to our practice. In fact, the only effective way to actually quiet the mind is to stop trying to control it. Just watch it do its thing. If you do, you’ll be amazed at how thoughts just appear, seemingly from nowhere, and fade away into nothingness.

The second honest admission is that we cannot understand what it is that’s observing our mind during our practice. It’s a clear and present experience, but the mind cannot grasp it. We need to honestly admit that we just don’t know. We can then relax into the mystery that is our awareness, without constant mental chatter in a vain attempt to categorize it, explain it, theorize about it, or even clearly view it.

The third honest admission is that the past and the future are irrelevant to contemplative practice. The only thing that matters is present moment experience. If we honestly admit that everything but the now is unnecessary we can begin to stop trying to achieve something in the future or to reinstate or recover a previous experience. We can simply concentrate solely on what is our immediate experience. We can watch them arising out of nothing and falling away, into the same void. We can become enamored with the wonder of it and simply enjoy the miracle of being.

So, let’s be honest. It doesn’t hurt, but it can reveal truths beyond the mental delusions.

CMCS

Most people expect that when they engage in a regular contemplative practice that they will make consistent progress over time, that their practice will get better and better day-by-day, maybe slowly, but consistent gains will be apparent. Unfortunately, it rarely happens that way. Rather than slow and steady progress the individual is confronted with a roller coaster ride.

One day practice is deep and satisfying, the next it is tortuous, and the next the mind is overwhelmingly busy. This can be very discouraging, as practice doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere. At this point many people give up and stop practicing or become sporadic in their practice. But, this is a mistake.

This is a classic example from signal detection theory. The signal, progress, cannot be detected because its magnitude is small relative to the noise of the day-to-day variations in practice. It is thus difficult to detect the real progress that is being made.

Only over long periods of time does it begin to dawn on us that we’re actually progressing. It’s just hard to tell amid the wild fluctuations. But we begin to recognize that we’re on average, deeper, calmer, and more on task than we used to be. The wild ride continues but now it is recognized that it is going on at a higher level than before.

So, stick with it. Really, you’re making progress! It’s just hard to detect. But, if you do persevere, you will get to a deeper, calmer, more blissful practice. It just take patience.

CMCS

I’ve been told by many, many contemplative practitioners that they want to practice on a regular basis practice, but they have trouble maintaining it. When asked what the problem is they most frequently respond that they don’t seem to be able to find the time in their day. That unveils the problem. They’re practicing when there is free time available. Our lives appear to abhor a vacuum and will fill in whatever time is available with some seemingly important activity, leaving no time for practice.

A wise friend of mine once said that you can tell what a person truly values not by what they say but by what they do. From this perspective the on-again-off-again practitioners are clearly demonstrating that they value every other activity in their lives more than practicing. They’re giving it a very low priority.

If we truly want to practice regularly we must give it a very high priority. If we don’t care that much about practicing that is fine. Continue doing what you’re doing as that’s what is important to you. Just correct the statement that you really want to have a regular practice. To a statement that you would like to practice if nothing else is available to occupy you.

If practicing regularly is really important to you then I find that it must be given a particular time slot every day that is not infringed upon except when absolutely necessary, which is very seldom.  I schedule it daily first thing in the morning after I have my morning coffee. If there isn’t time then I plan to get up earlier to make sure that there is time. I also practice before dinner in the evening, but this is not as high a priority and often is replaced with another activity. But, I make sure that the morning practice is sacrosanct.

What exact time you schedule your practice should be determined by your life’s demands and what works best for you attending to your practice. But, whatever time you schedule, give it your highest priority. Don’t let life’s business intrude. Treat it as a treasured time for nourishing yourself that is as important as eating and sleeping. Give it that priority and you’ll be able to fulfill your aspiration to practice regularly and in fact, that will make the rest of your day markedly better and more productive.

In meditation we are often give the instruction to let go. We are asked to let go of thinking, judging, and even our attempts to control the meditation or our experience in meditation. On the surface this sounds straightforward and simple, but in practice it proves devilishly difficult.

Trying to let go of thinking causes us to think about our mental contents. Trying us to let go of judging causes us to judge what we’re doing. And trying to let go of control causes us to try to control our controlling. This becomes a frustratingly circular endeavor.

In fact, we can’t actively let go. The act of trying to actively do it, is itself not letting go. Sometimes in meditation our minds kick in and recognize that we have indeed let go. But, then we try to hold on to that state, converting letting go to controlling. It can be so very frustratingly difficult to just execute the simple instruction to let go.

So how do we proceed. First we must recognize that we can’t do it. The activity itself is contrary to letting go. So, we must stop trying to let go. We must let go of letting go. Actual letting go sometimes spontaneously happens when we are successful at simply relaxing and being with our experiences. It feels like grace, not something that we can produce, but something that we simply receive.

The mind has trouble with this instruction that to let go is to not try to let go at all. But, in meditation the mind is the problem not the solution. So, don’t try to use the problem to produce the solution. Stop trying. It will happen if and when you’re ready and grace descends.