Spirituality

Understanding Causation and Karma

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Steve Jobs

 

Arguably the most powerful and fundamental concept that the Buddha taught was the idea of Dependent Origination. It is basically the notion that everything that occurs results from everything that has gone before it. As the Buddha stated “if this exists, that exists; if this ceases to exist, that also ceases to exist.” In essence he taught that if any component that leads up to an event or thing had not occurred then the event or thing does not occur, that all things are interconnected and things only originate dependent upon the occurrence of all other things. So, if you see a butterfly its existence only occurred because of the entirety of the physical history of the universe. If anything had been different then the butterfly would either not be present or would be different in some way. In a more personal sense, what we are is an expression of everything that happened in the past and all that is here in the present. Had anything been different we’d be different.

 

This notion projected forward in time suggests that what we do now will impact what happens in the future. If we do one thing the future will be different than if we do another. Since everything is causally connected to everything else, whatever occurs effects everything else that occurs in the future. The Buddha’s teaching preceded chaos theory by 2500 years, yet essentially predicts the same things. The frequently cited example in chaos theory states that a butterfly flapping its wings in China effects a hurricane in the Atlantic Ocean. This is based upon the same ideas as dependent origination that all things are interconnected. Keep in mind that Dependent Origination doesn’t mean that the wings flapping produces the hurricane, although it may, it simply means that it would be a component among everything else that is happening to bring about the hurricane. It would not be the same if the butterfly hadn’t flapped its wings, perhaps only in a minuscule way or perhaps in a major way. That would depend on everything else going on and the chain of causation unleashed by the flapping wings.

 

Dependent Origination is a powerful teaching that is very often misunderstood. It is the basis for much of the Buddha’s teachings, including the notion of Karma, which is probably the most misunderstood concept in Buddhism. The literal meaning of the Pali word Karma is action. It doesn’t have a mystical meaning. It simply means that actions have effects. Karma simply states that what we do effects the future including our future as a result of the causal connections between everything and everything else. If we perform a good deed, it is likely that it will bring about good in the future and that may very well bring us personal good in return. That is not absolutely certain. But, good deeds would make it more likely that good things will happen to us in the future. That is called good Karma. Conversely, if we perform actions that are harmful to others, it is likely that bad things will happen to us in the future. This is not predetermined as everything that happens is dependent upon everything else. But, it shifts the likelihood of the outcome. That is called bad Karma. The effects of Karma may be immediate or they may take many years to occur or as some believe even carry into future lifetimes.

 

Sometimes Karma acts by the effects of our actions on ourselves. These could have a psychological effect causing us to view ourselves more positively or negatively that can then affect how we act in the future. Karma can act through others. I’ve had students many years in the past who I don’t even recall send me messages letting me know that what I taught them changed their lives. My teaching produced Karma. Many years later the students’ messages affected me, making me feel good about my career and myself. On the other hand, I’ve received messages on student evaluations of my courses that they saw my course as a waste of time and money. Once again my actions of teaching produced Karma, that came back to affect me in negative ways. The action of writing this essay produces Karma, the nature of which emerge in the present, with my good feeling about having stopped procrastinating and actually wrote it, and in the future as people read it and react to it.

 

Everything we do has effects. We should strive to act in ways that produce good positive effects and create good Karma. Although this can be to some extent selfish, it can also be seen as having positive effects occur world and others making it a better place. The Buddha’s ethical teachings were very simple. If an action results in greater happiness, well-being, and understanding then it is good. On the other hand, an action that causes harm, decreases happiness, well-being, and understanding is bad. Actions are right or wrong, not in and of themselves but based upon their consequences. So, ethics are also wrapped up in Dependent Origination and Karma. The more you look at it the more and more profound the teaching looks.

 

There is nothing mystical or spiritual in the notions off Dependent Origination or Karma. They are very mechanistic and reflect the physical laws of nature and the universe. It’s seeing things as vastly interconnected, as they really are, and seeing how these interconnections produce multitudinous causal chains that set in motion all that will occur in the future. Understanding these notions can make us wise, compassionate, and the creators of good Karma for the good of ourselves and all sentient beings.

 

“Karma is experience, and experience creates memory, and memory creates imagination and desire, and desire creates karma again. If I buy a cup of coffee, that’s karma. I now have that memory that might give me the potential desire for having cappuccino, and I walk into Starbucks, and there’s karma all over again.” – Deepak Chopra

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

Improve Heart Failure Treatment Adherence with Spirituality

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Given the mechanism by which we think religion/spirituality influences physical health, i.e., through psychosocial and behavioral pathways, and the strong influence that psychosocial and behavioral factors have on risk of developing cardiovascular disease, there is no medical condition that R/S is more likely to influence than CVD.” – Fernando A. Lucchese

 

Cardiovascular disease is the number one killer, claiming more lives than all forms of cancer combined. “Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women. About 610,000 people die of heart disease in the United States every year–that’s 1 in every 4 deaths. Every year about 735,000 Americans have a heart attack.” – Centers for Disease Control.

 

A myriad of treatments has been developed for heart disease including a variety of surgical procedures and medications. In addition, lifestyle changes have proved to be effective including quitting smoking, weight reduction, improved diet, physical activity, and reducing stresses. Contemplative practices, such as meditation, tai chi, and yoga, have also been shown to be helpful for heart health. In addition, mindfulness practices have also been shown to be helpful for producing the kinds of other lifestyle changes needed such as smoking cessation, weight reduction, and stress reduction. Mindfulness has also been shown to be linked to spirituality and

Spirituality and religiosity are known to help with a wide range of physical and psychological problems. So, it would make sense to investigate the relationship of spirituality and religiosity to recovery from heart failure.

 

In today’s Research News article “Association between Spirituality and Adherence to Management in Outpatients with Heart Failure.” See:

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1332516243438965/?type=3&theater

or see summary below or view the full text of the study at:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4940148/

Alvarez and colleagues measured adherence to therapy, quality of life, depression, religiosity and spirituality in adult patients with heart failure. They found that there were significant relationships between spirituality and adherence to pharmacologic and non-pharmacologic therapy, such that the higher the spirituality of the patient the greater the adherence. This was true for all of the spirituality subscales including spiritual connection, meaning of life, awe and wonder, wholeness & integration, spiritual strength, inner peace, hope & optimism and faith and was also true for intrinsic religiosity but not overall religiosity. They also found that the higher the levels of spirituality the higher the quality of life, both overall and disease specific, and the lower the depression.

 

It should be pointed out that these results are correlational and as such causation cannot be concluded. It could be that the kinds of people who tend to adhere to medical recommendations are also the kinds of people who pursue spirituality. It will take a study where spirituality is manipulated to establish a causal connection.

 

These findings indicate that spirituality has very positive relationships with adherence and quality of life and negative relationship to depression in heart failure patients. Adherence is particularly significant. One of the biggest challenges in all of medicine is to get patients to actually take the prescribed medications, perform the recommended life style changes, and participate in the prescribed therapy sessions. So, increasing adherence is very important for increasing the likelihood of patients getting the full benefit of their medical recommendations. For heart failure patients this could literally be the difference between life and death. These findings, like many others, point to the importance of spirituality and intrinsic religiosity, but not simple participation in religion, in the health and well-being of the individual.

 

So, improve heart failure treatment adherence with spirituality.

 

“the link between improved health and spiritual wellbeing was at least partially explained by the role gratitude plays in spirituality. It seems that a more grateful heart is indeed a more healthy heart. Gratitude journaling is an easy way to support cardiac health.” –  Paul Mills

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

 

Study Summary

Alvarez, J. S., Goldraich, L. A., Nunes, A. H., Zandavalli, M. C. B., Zandavalli, R. B., Belli, K. C., … Clausell, N. (2016). Association between Spirituality and Adherence to Management in Outpatients with Heart Failure. Arquivos Brasileiros de Cardiologia, 106(6), 491–501. http://doi.org/10.5935/abc.20160076

 

Abstract

Background: Spirituality may influence how patients cope with their illness.

Objectives: We assessed whether spirituality may influence adherence to management of outpatients with heart failure.

Methods: Cross sectional study enrolling consecutive ambulatory heart failure patients in whom adherence to multidisciplinary treatment was evaluated. Patients were assessed for quality of life, depression, religiosity and spirituality utilizing validated questionnaires. Correlations between adherence and psychosocial variables of interest were obtained. Logistic regression models explored independent predictors of adherence.

Results: One hundred and thirty patients (age 60 ± 13 years; 67% male) were interviewed. Adequate adherence score was observed in 38.5% of the patients. Neither depression nor religiosity was correlated to adherence, when assessed separately. Interestingly, spirituality, when assessed by both total score sum (r = 0.26; p = 0.003) and by all specific domains, was positively correlated to adherence. Finally, the combination of spirituality, religiosity and personal beliefs was an independent predictor of adherence when adjusted for demographics, clinical characteristics and psychosocial instruments.

Conclusion: Spirituality, religiosity and personal beliefs were the only variables consistently associated with compliance to medication in a cohort of outpatients with heart failure. Our data suggest that adequately addressing these aspects on patient’s care may lead to an improvement in adherence patterns in the complex heart failure management.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4940148/

 

Improve Physician Care of Patients and Themselves with Religious Practice

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Patients need to believe in their doctor. An empathetic touch can make all the difference and also be the key to medical success. . . The tragedy of burnout is that it effaces genuine empathy, spirituality, and commitment. Nietzsche put it best: “Physician, heal thyself: Then wilt thou also heal thy patient.” – Tom Murphy

 

Stress is epidemic in the western workplace with almost two thirds of workers reporting high levels of stress at work. In high stress occupations burnout is all too prevalent. This is the fatigue, cynicism, emotional exhaustion, and professional inefficacy that comes with work-related stress. Healthcare and teaching are high stress occupations. It is estimated that over 45% of healthcare workers experience burnout with emergency medicine at the top of the list, over half experiencing burnout. Currently, over a third of healthcare workers report that they are looking for a new job. Nearly half plan to look for a new job over the next two years and 80% expressed interest in a new position if they came across the right opportunity.

 

Burnout frequently results from emotional exhaustion. This exhaustion not only affects the healthcare providers personally, but also the patients, as it produces a loss of enthusiasm, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the reasons for burnout or its immediate presenting consequences, it is a threat to the healthcare providers and their patients. In fact, it is a threat to the entire healthcare system as it contributes to the shortage of doctors and nurses. Hence, preventing burnout has to be a priority. Mindfulness has been demonstrated to be helpful in treating and preventing burnout. Religiosity and spirituality are also known to help improve mental health and well-being.

 

In today’s Research News article “An exploration of the role of religion/spirituality in the promotion of physicians’ wellbeing in Emergency Medicine.” See:

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1313533765337213/?type=3&theater

or see summary below or view the full text of the study at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4929145/, Salmoirago-Blotcher and colleagues surveyed emergency room physicians measuring burnout, maladaptive behaviors, malpractice, religiosity, religious affiliation, spirituality, private religious/spiritual practice, and religious commitment. They found that high levels of burnout were associated with being single or divorced, and not surprisingly with high numbers of patients seen, hours on call, and shifts each month. There were no significant relationships between religiosity/spirituality and burnout. They did find, however, that the greater the observance of a religious day of rest, the lower the levels of malpractice and maladaptive behaviors. In addition, the greater the attendance at religious services the lower the level of maladaptive behaviors.

 

These results are interesting and suggest that although not directly associated with burnout, religious practice was associated with higher quality of medical services provided to the patients, as evidenced by fewer malpractice suits, and the better care the physicians took of themselves, as evidenced by low maladaptive behaviors. The maladaptive behaviors included smoking, drug use and addiction, and alcohol use. It is interesting that the results were not due to the levels of spirituality or religiosity themselves but rather to participation in religious services and taking a religious day of rest. This suggests that the effects may be the result taking time off to go to church and rest may be important for physicians well-being. Since, this was a correlational study, however, it’s possible that the causation was in the opposite direction with the kinds of physicians who participated in religious practices also being the type of physicians who take better care of themselves and others.

 

So, improve physician care of patients and themselves with religious practice.

 

“We can’t afford to ignore the potential effect of spirituality and religion on health.”  – Alexandra Shields

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

 

Study Summary

Salmoirago-Blotcher, E., Fitchett, G., Leung, K., Volturo, G., Boudreaux, E., Crawford, S., … Curlin, F. (2016). An exploration of the role of religion/spirituality in the promotion of physicians’ wellbeing in Emergency Medicine. Preventive Medicine Reports, 3, 189–195. http://doi.org/10.1016/j.pmedr.2016.01.009

 

Abstract

Background: Burnout is highly prevalent among Emergency Medicine (EM) physicians and has significant impact on quality of care and workforce retention. The objective of this study was to determine whether higher religion/spirituality (R/S) is associated with a lower prevalence of burnout among EM physicians (primary outcome). A history of malpractice lawsuits and maladaptive behaviors were the secondary outcomes. Methods: This was a cross-sectional, survey-based study conducted among a random sample of physicians from the Massachusetts College of Emergency Physicians mailing list. Burnout was measured using a validated 2-item version of the Maslach Burnout Inventory. Maladaptive behaviors (smoking, drinking, and substance use) and medical malpractice were self-reported. R/S measures included organized religiosity, religious affiliation, private R/S practice, self-rated spirituality, religious rest, and religious commitment. Logistic regression was used to model study outcomes as a function of R/S predictors. Results: Of 422 EM physicians who received the invitation to participate, 138 completed the survey (32.7%). The prevalence of burnout was 27%. No significant associations were observed between burnout and R/S indicators. Maladaptive behaviors (adjusted OR = 0.42, CI: 0.19 to 0.96; p = 0.039) and history of medical malpractice (adjusted OR = 0.32; CI: 0.11 to 0.93; p = 0.037) were less likely among physicians reporting to be more involved in organized religious activity and to observe a day of rest for religious reasons, respectively. Conclusion: This study provides preliminary evidence for a possible protective association of certain dimensions of R/S on maladaptive behaviors and medical malpractice among EM physicians.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4929145/

 

Meditate to Pray. Pray to Meditate

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Meditate to Pray. Pray to Meditate

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Silence is God’s first language; everything else is a poor translation.” ― Thomas Keating

 

Prayer takes a number of different forms most of which are not meditative. Prayers of adoration are prayers focused on the worship of God, without any reference to circumstances, needs, or desires. They are often recited by rote. Prayers of thanksgiving are expressions of gratitude towards God, made in reference to specific positive life experiences. Prayers of supplication “taps requests for God’s intervention in specific life events for oneself or others”. Prayers of confession involve the admission of negative behaviors, and a request for forgiveness. Obligatory prayers are required prayers consist primarily of fixed prayers repeated at each worship time. All of these types of prayer generally don’t parallel meditation and might be characterized as self-serving.

 

The final type, on the other hand, prayers of reception are very similar to meditation. These are prayers in which “one more passively awaits divine wisdom, understanding, or guidance”. They are “characterized by a contemplative attitude of openness, receptivity, and surrender, resulting in experiences ranging from peaceful/quiet to rapture/ecstasy”. The following story exemplifies this form of prayer:

“Mother Theresa was once asked about her prayer life.

The interviewer asked, “When you pray, what do you say to God?”

Mother Teresa replied, “I don’t talk, I simply listen.”

Believing he understood what she had just said, the interviewer next asked, “Ah, then what is it that God says to you when you pray?”

Mother Teresa replied, “He also doesn’t talk. He also simply listens.”

There was a long silence, with the interviewer seeming a bit confused and not knowing what to ask next.

Finally, Mother Teresa breaks the silence by saying, “If you can’t understand the meaning of what I’ve just said, I’m sorry but there’s no way I can explain it any better.” –  David Matthew Brown

 

This is the kind of prayer described by Mother Theresa is the form of contemplative prayer engaged in by the Christian or Sufi mystics. Receptive prayer might be characterized as the deepest most profound form of prayer. In this prayer the mind is quieted and there is no specific goal as in meditation. The practitioner simply quiets the mind and patiently monitors experience, just like meditation. So, not only can contemplative prayer be viewed as a form of meditation, but meditation can be viewed as a form of prayer. Both involve quieting the mind and simply resting peacefully observing whatever transpires.

 

This idea is further evidenced by what is arguably the most famous definition of prayer from St John Damascene ,‘Prayer is the raising of the mind and heart to God’. It is also evident in the sermons of the highly regarded Christian mystic, Meister Eckhart. He states that

“The most powerful form of prayer, and the one which can virtually gain all things and which is the worthiest work of all, is that which flows from a free mind. The freer the mind is, the more powerful and worthy, the more useful, praiseworthy and perfect the prayer and the work become. A free mind can achieve all things. But what is a free mind? A free mind is one which is untroubled and unfettered by anything, which has not bound its best part to any particular manner of being or devotion and which does not seek its own interest in anything but is always immersed in God’s most precious will, having gone out of what is its own. (Talks of Instruction 2 in Davies, 1994).”

 

So, prayers of reception are essentially meditations. They involve quieting the mind and simply observing what transpires. The difference is simply one of intent. In the case of prayer, the practitioner has the intent of becoming one with the Deity, while in the case of meditation the practitioner has the intent of becoming one with the universe. Simply thinking of the universe as the expression of the Devine makes contemplative prayer and meditation identical. It’s all a matter of the label put on it. The meditator calls the ultimate product of meditation as awakening or enlightenment while the contemplative prayer practitioner calls the ultimate product of the prayer Devine revelation. It could be argued that these two are identical except for the labels put on them. In fact, the mystical experiences reported by the Christian and Sufi mystics only differ from those reported by meditators in the labels put on them. In their essence they are identical and lead to effectively the same place.

 

So, meditate to pray and pray to meditate!

 

“Spiritual meditation is the pathway to Divinity. It is a mystic ladder which reaches from earth to heaven, from error to Truth, from pain to peace.” ~James Allen

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

It’s Eliminating the Causes of Suffering, Stupid

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“The Buddha taught that beyond suffering lies great bliss. As we take steps towards removing the causes of suffering, we experience progressive levels of happiness. The path is a long one. But staying on it leads to a tremendous sense of liberation. There are other benefits from adhering to this philosophy – one can live in happiness, untroubled by any kind of negativity. At the end of this path, when desire and ignorance would have completely fallen away, one may experience the same transcendental joy that the Buddha did.” – Buddha Groove

 

In a previous essay the first Noble Truth was discussed, reflecting the patently obvious fact that there is suffering, a.k.a. unsatisfactoriness. In the next essay the second Noble Truth was discussed also stating the obvious that there are causes to the suffering. But, not so obviously we saw how, all encompassing, unsatisfactoriness is in our lives and how subtle are its causes. We saw that most of the unsatisfactoriness emanated from our inability to accept things as they are and instead, go to war against reality.

 

As we look carefully and deeply at this unsatisfactoriness, we find that it is much more encompassing than we initially thought, affecting every aspect of our lives and experience, day in and day out. In fact, unsatisfactoriness is the rule and not the exception. It is the biggest single impediment to being truly happy, making progress on a spiritual path, and experiencing liberation. The Buddha recognized this and held out hope in the third Noble Truth, that suffering can be eliminated, that there can be a cessation of unsatisfactoriness.

 

At first glance the idea of eliminating suffering would seem simple, just eliminate the cause of suffering. Since, the cause of suffering, desiring things to be different than they are, is also simple, it should be an easy task to eliminate the desiring and thereby the suffering. But, it’s not simple at all. It took arguably the greatest, most mentally disciplined, mindfulness practitioner of all time, the Buddha, six years of struggle to accomplish it. For most of us, it would seem to be an almost impossible task. To get an idea of the difficulty just realize that wanting to eliminate the desire for things to be different, is itself a desire for things to be different!

 

The complexity of the cessation of desires is also underscored by the fact that many desires are healthy and in fact necessary for life, e.g. hunger, thirst, breathing, etc. Obviously these desires should not be eliminated. In addition, many are for pleasant things that make life enjoyable, such as companionship, love, art, music, good food and wine, etc. It would certainly be a bland life without them. Others are unpleasant things that need to be avoided or tempered, such as pain, illness, fear, loneliness. It would seem problematic to remove these desires. In fact, the third Noble Truth does not call for the elimination of desires. Rather, it suggests that we should eliminate clinging to, grasping onto, these desires.

 

The difference between desires and clinging to desires is a subtle but very important distinction. There is nothing wrong with desires themselves. It is human nature to have them and if not clung to, they are normally healthy. But to be invested in the outcome of the desires is where the problem arises. It is perfectly fine to desire going to a concert, but it causes suffering when the outcome makes a difference. If the concert is cancelled or sold out or your car breaks down so you can’t get there would you be OK with it, or would you be upset? If it’s the latter then you’re attached, you’re grasping, you’re clinging. If it’s the former you’re displaying the equanimity that the Buddha taught is the way to the cessation of suffering. Similarly, if you desire to get rid of a headache and take analgesics and rest, this is fine. But, if the headache continues and you’re angry and upset to have to deal with the continuing pain, then that’s clinging, grasping, and attaching to the desire. You can only alleviate the suffering by accepting that the headache is still there. Indeed, research has shown that the headache pain lessens just as soon as you cease to fight it and let go of resistance. As Ajahn Chah said, “If you let go a little, you’ll have a little happiness. If you let go a lot, you’ll have a lot of happiness. If you let go completely . . . you’ll be completely happy.”

 

Once again, though, this sounds simple, but in practice is devilishly difficult to do. The mind is programmed to control. It automatically tries to produce good feelings and hold onto them and eliminate bad feelings and prevent them from returning. So, even though we may wish to cease clinging to desires, our own mind works against us. We might try to force our will on the mind and battle its tendencies. But, as Adyashanti likes to say “If you go to war with your mind you’ll be at war forever.” The Buddha found this to be absolutely true as his attempts to control his mind with asceticism were a nearly mortal failure. He finally found a better way, “The Middle Way” where one works to restrain the mind, but doesn’t get upset when failure occurs, simply returns to the effort with expectations of slowly moving more and more toward equanimity. This is a patient practice in the middle between striving and giving up. It works to tame the mind, but not dominate it.

 

The practice begins with an intention to explore everyday experiences, looking at each and asking the question, do I feel unsatisfactoriness and when you do exploring why, what is the cause of the unsatisfactoriness. Sometimes it’s simple. You’re caught at a red light and detect unsatisfactoriness and realize that you want to get somewhere (you want things to be different) rather than appreciating the drive. With this realization, you can often spontaneously let go and stop clinging to the desire to be somewhere else and simply enjoy a relaxing interlude to the stress of driving. At times, though, it may be difficult to release the clinging. You may feel that you’re underpaid at work and thus feel unsatisfactoriness with you job rather than enjoying the moment to moment experience of the work. This feeling of unfairness may not simply diminish upon realization. This will take more work. One important lesson here, is that the key to ending suffering and becoming happy is not in a monastery or a pilgrimage, but right here in everyday life. This is where the practice is. This is where equanimity can be developed. It’s right here, right now, in the present moment, in the midst of your life.

 

The practice from here becomes subtle. It involves first working with everyday experiences and noticing when unsatisfactoriness arises and secondly noting the underlying cause, the desire, the wanting, the craving. Then, thirdly, noting and observing that both the unsatisfactoriness and the desire go through a phase of arising, increasing in magnitude and fourthly noting that they both go through a phase of decline, falling away. Obviously, this requires patience and mindful observing. But, it reveals that unsatisfactoriness and its cause, desire, just like everything else, are impermanent. They come and they go. Note that you have just observed the cessation of unsatisfactoriness and desire, the exact state that you want to achieve. Note also that you didn’t do anything. It all happened spontaneously, on its own.

 

For example, you may want to go out for dinner at a restaurant for a nice meal but realize that your budget won’t allow it. This will likely be followed by feelings of frustration, the unsatisfactoriness. Observe the feelings arising. Then, look deeply for the underlying cause, perhaps the desire to have more money, greed. Observe, also how this desire for money arises and strengthens. Then if you patiently stay with these feelings, you’ll note that they begin to decrease and fall away. The unsatisfactoriness and the greed slowly dissipate and eventually completely cease. You are left not caring that you can’t go out for the meal, that you don’t have the money. You have achieved a brief equanimity. As I’m sure, you’ll recognize, this liberation will not last long, the feelings will arise again either immediately or at a later time. You haven’t extinguished them, only experienced a brief cessation.

 

Once, the falling away of unsatisfactoriness and the underlying desire, is experienced. There is nothing else for you to do. Do not attempt to control this experience in any way. Do not attempt to maintain or lengthen the experience. This is a form of desiring things to be different than they are; the exact cause of unsatisfactoriness in the first place. It’s very hard not to try to control it. Remember your mind is programmed to do this. Don’t get upset if the mind jumps in and tries to do so. It’s just what minds do. Simply watch it and see how this itself creates unsatisfactoriness that arises and falls away.

 

This is where the subtlety comes in. The equanimity, the decrease of unsatisfactoriness, and the cessation of desire can’t be controlled. They must simply be allowed to come and go. As the practice continues the number of times this equanimity occurs and the duration of the cessation will start to increase on their own. The realization begins to dawn that you really don’t have to do anything. All you need to do is accept things as they are. This acceptance produces a pleasant state that reinforces the process, making it occur more frequently and for longer duration in the future. You come to not only understand, but directly experience that unsatisfactoriness and desire can be ended simply by patiently waiting for them to spontaneously diminish and cease. When you do a pleasant feeling will spontaneously arise. This in turn leads to an upward spiral leading slowly to enduring equanimity.

 

It is important to understand that attempting to actually do anything to produce, hold onto, or lengthen the state is counterproductive. Patience and persistence is required here. Trust that it will all happen on its own if you just let it. Don’t meddle. But, don’t stop observing. This is the method revealed in the Third Noble Truth. It is the way to true happiness, true liberation, true enlightenment.

 

The Buddha provides a path that makes it more likely that this will occur. It is the fourth Noble Truth, also called the Noble Eightfold Path which is the subject of other essays.

 

“After suffering, the Buddha taught, there is supreme happiness. Every step of the way to removing the causes of unhappiness brings more joy. On the path to the end of suffering, which is a path that Buddhists may spend their whole lifetimes practicing, there are levels of happiness and freedom from craving and ignorance that can be achieved.” – Buddhist Studies

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

It’s the Causes of Suffering, Stupid

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Basically, life is suffering. And we create our suffering by thirsting or craving for what we cannot have. But are these really all the causes of suffering? Do we really create all of our suffering? I would argue that there is more to suffering than what we cause with our craving. Fighting with reality surely adds to our suffering – if I do not accept that I am sick, for example, and moan the whole time that I shouldn’t be sick, I will suffer more.” – Rachel Buddeberg

 

In a previous essay http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2016/08/07/its-the-suffering-stupid/

the first Noble Truth was discussed, reflecting the patently obvious fact that there is suffering, a.k.a. unsatisfactoriness. Although I previously overlooked and ignored this important truth, an investigation of my daily life revealed that it was chock full of unsatisfactoriness. It became clear that this unsatisfactoriness must be witnessed completely to see the Buddha’s wisdom. Life is so full of unsatisfactoriness that it’s impossible to move forward on a spiritual path until it is addressed. Unsatisfactoriness is at the very core of existence and a major impediment in attaining true happiness let alone enlightenment. It became evident to me that it was the suffering, stupid.

 

But, once this is clearly realized and a complete inventory is taken of unsatisfactoriness, what’s the next step. This is presented in the Second Noble Truth that there are causes to suffering. My initial naive thoughts were that the causes of suffering were obvious. If I stepped on a nail and experienced pain or contracted the flu and experienced malaise, the causes were obvious. But, once I realized that unsatisfactoriness was rampant in my life, I realized that I wasn’t always sure what caused it. Why should I care if someone thinks highly of me? Why should I try to avoid boredom? Why should I be unhappy when certain forms of music are played? Why should I be afraid of heights even when I know it’s safe? The causes here are subtler and more difficult to identify. But, it’s important to do so, as unsatisfactoriness can only be eliminated if we first know what’s producing it.

 

To put it simply, unsatisfactoriness arises whenever we want things to be different than they are. Struggling against what is, is the primary source of unsatisfactoriness. This is a simple and absolutely true statement. But as with everything there’s more to it. There are a number of sources that are either built into us or inculcated by our society that produce a desire for things to be different. But, keep in mind that no matter what the source, ultimately it’s the refusal to accept what is that’s the source of unsatisfactoriness.

 

Our attraction and aversion to sensory experiences is a big driver of wanting things to be different. We want pleasurable experiences, be they beautiful sights, music, the flavors of a good wine, perfumes, sexual orgasm, ocean waves hitting our skin, etc. There is nothing wrong with these desires. Many are programmed into us by evolution. The problem arises when we are attached to these sensations and are never satisfied unless they’re present. Hence, in order to obtain them we strive to change the ways things are. When we don’t accept their absence, we suffer. There’s nothing wrong with liking pleasant sensations. We can enjoy them when they’re present. After all that’s accepting the present as it is. In fact, we can even seek them out. Problems arise when we’re not OK when we can’t get them or when we strive to hold onto these experiences even though they will inevitably fade. Not accepting that this is the nature of these experiences causes us to grasp onto them and then suffer when they dissipate. These are seemingly subtle distinctions, but they’re crucial. Grasping is the key. If we don’t grasp, then there’s no unsatisfactoriness.

 

We are not only wired to seek out pleasant sensation we’re also wired to avoid or eliminate unpleasant sensations, be they ugly or disgusting sights, grating sounds (the noise from lawn tools is one of my aversions), the taste of spoiled wine, the odor of rotten eggs, feeling of being chilled or overheated, pain, etc. There is nothing wrong with not liking these sensations, avoiding them, or attempting to stop them. Again evolution has programmed many of them to help protect us. The problem arises when we do not accept that these sensations arise as they inevitably will, or when we grasp at their avoidance not accepting what is. So, rather than accepting that we’re experiencing a headache, we fight against it, which amplifies the pain. Sure, lie down, close your eyes, rest, take an analgesic, but also accept that pain is present. There’s no sense in denying it or fighting it. That’s what causes the unsatisfactoriness. Just accept it, and relax knowing that like all sensations it will eventually go away. Additionally, we suffer when we become fearful of the possibility that they might occur. So we worry about the next headache or ruminate about the last one. This is a waste of time and makes us miserable. There is no headache present. Enjoy your non-headache. Aversion to certain kinds of sensory stimuli can be a major source of unsatisfactoriness, but only when we don’t accept what is.

 

Another major source of unsatisfactoriness is the unwillingness to accept ourselves as we are, to desire to be different than what we are. We want to be more successful, more attractive, more knowledgeable, more liked, happier, healthier, more assertive, younger, older, slimmer, stronger, less fearful, a better parent, less fidgety, etc. Just look in the self-help section of a bookstore as evidence of its pervasiveness. This is especially true in western society, where most people simply don’t like themselves. They want to be different. Once again, this is not accepting what is, rather wanting things to be different, producing intense unsatisfactoriness. This lack of acceptance of the self can generate unhealthy jealousy of others who seeming have what we wish we had. It can also cause us to judge others, making us feel better about ourselves by denigrating others. Hence, this desire to be different than we are can be a major source of unsatisfactoriness.

 

This is not to say that we shouldn’t want to improve ourselves. There’s no problem with working hard to advance one’s career, to lose weight, to exercise, to change hair color, to save toward purchasing a house, etc. This is normal and healthy. The problem arises when we can’t accept what we are in the present moment, when we can’t see that we’re just fine as we are even though we’re working to improve ourselves. There is much about us that we can’t change. No matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to make myself taller, smarter, or unemotional. This is what I am. To be happy, I need to accept myself as I am in the present moment. Fighting it is a waste of time and energy and a major source of unsatisfactoriness.

 

It is easy to say “got it”, I see the causes of suffering, so let’s move on to how I get enlightened. But, it is important to thoroughly investigate the causes of unsatisfactoriness. It drives home how we go about making ourselves unhappy. Every time you wish that things were different than they are right now, ask the question, why? What’s wrong or missing from the present moment? This doesn’t have to be done for major agonizing suffering. It’s best to look at something simple, like we’re bored. Ask why? Why are we unsatisfied with what’s going on right now? Is it that we crave more sensory stimulation? Then take a careful look at the sensations you’re currently experiencing and ask why they’re not sufficient. It can be an amazing revelation to see how we’re bored because we’re used to and are ignoring the incredible wonder of what is right around us. We’re not happy with the same old experiences, we crave something new. Why?

 

Don’t try to move on too quickly. Take the time to explore this thoroughly. This morning I was out for a speed walk workout in the heat and humidity, wishing it were cooler. If it was, I thought, then I’d enjoy the walk. But, I explored this a bit more deeply and realized that I was missing the extraordinary feelings of my body being hot, the sweat on my brow, the sun on my face. Then I started to appreciate the present moment and started to enjoy the situation that I was in at the time. The exploration of unsatisfactoriness can lead to greater happiness and simple enjoyment of what is. So, explore the reasons for your unsatisfactoriness and begin to understand your mind and to learn to appreciate what you have right now.

 

“If we can recognize when incorrect comprehension has affected our mind states, we can then make more sound judgments. We can tell when we are seeing things correctly, because we can notice peacefulness inside of us. Only when incorrect comprehension is in action do we feel tension and agitation.” – Lisa Mitchell

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

It’s the Suffering, Stupid

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I-teach-one-thing-and

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

” If you want to understand suffering you must look into the situation at hand. The teachings say that wherever a problem arises it must be settled right there. Where suffering lies is right where non-suffering will arise, it ceases at the place where it arises. If suffering arises you must contemplate right there, you don’t have to run away. You should settle the issue right there. One who runs away from suffering out of fear is the most foolish person of all. He will simply increase his stupidity endlessly. We don’t meditate to see heaven, but to end suffering.” – Ajahn Chah

 

When I was first introduced to the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths I was underwhelmed, to say the least. They said first that there’s suffering. Yeah, I thought, that’s obvious, there’s lots of suffering in this world. So, what’s new. Then they said that there are causes for suffering. Again, I thought, of course, there are causes for everything. So, when do we get to the good stuff. Then they said that there’s a way to end suffering. That’s clear and obvious, I thought. Of course, if you know what causes it then there’s always ways to end it. Let’s get to the meat. Lastly, they said that there was a path to the end of suffering. Yeah, yeah, of course, let’s move on and get to how do we attain enlightenment. How do we get to nirvana and eternal bliss?

 

I don’t believe that my response was unusual as my unscientific discussions with peers has revealed similar responses. I believe that part of the reason that we missed the importance of what was being taught was the word suffering itself. It’s a translation from the Pali word “dukkha” that was the language that was likely used by the Buddha. But, it can equally well be translated as “imperfect”, “unsatisfying”, or “incapable of providing perfect happiness.” I happen to favor unsatisfactory. Using this translation, I began to see what was being taught here. Suffering implied to me an extreme and painful experience, agony, which I saw as relatively rare. But, unsatisfactoriness, now that’s a different story. Most things in life are to one degree or another unsatisfactory. So, the teaching now seems to apply to a much wider range of experiences. This was the beginning of the revelation as to just how seminal this teaching is. It’s when I realized that “It’s the suffering, stupid.”

 

I should have noted the clear and precise teaching of the Buddha. When asked about how to attain enlightenment the Buddha said “I teach one thing and one thing only: that is suffering and the end of suffering.” This should have been a clear message that the pursuit of enlightenment is actually the pursuit of the end of “dukkha”, the end of unsatisfactoriness. It should have been obvious that the key to enlightenment is unsatisfactoriness, its causes, and how to eliminate them. But somehow, I wanted to jump ahead and missed the most important teaching of all.

 

Looking carefully at existence from the perspective of unsatisfactoriness, it is clear that unsatisfactoriness is ubiquitous, it’s everywhere.

 

The alarm goes off in the morning and I think, I want to sleep longer, but I can’t. The day starts off with unsatisfactoriness. I notice a slight ache in my neck and want it to go away, and this is more unsatisfactoriness. Rising out of bed in the morning there’s a need to use the bathroom. My state is unsatisfactory. When picking out some clothes to wear I find the outfit I want to wear is out at the cleaners and I’ll have to wear something less satisfactory. I feel a bit shabby and old fashioned in the clothes. Being late, a breakfast bar is grabbed as I rush out the door, wishing I could sit down and have some scrambled eggs but have to eat an unsatisfactory breakfast. I go outside and feel the cold and wish the day to be warmer. The temperature is unsatisfactory. Driving to work I get caught at a red light and want it to be green, feeling frustrated and unsatisfactory. Traffic is moving slower than I want, so I find driving unsatisfactory. At work my co-worker looks at me with a scowl and I’m unsatisfied because I think that she doesn’t like me. etc., etc., etc. The entire day is filled from one end to the other with unsatisfactoriness.

 

The more I look at it the more I see that some of the unsatisfactoriness is due to external circumstances, the red light, the outside temperature, and the neck pain that I have little control over. But, I see that the more insidious type of unsatisfactoriness is of my own making. I make myself suffer by my interpretation of how I look in the clothes I’m wearing or how I think about events like my co-worker’s scowl. I assumed it was because she didn’t like me and I want to be liked. But, that was my interpretation. I brought that unsatisfactoriness onto myself. She may have just had a bad morning or been called on the carpet by the boss. I make so many assumptions and interpret a large number of events as suggestive of some personal failure or fault when they probably have nothing to do with me whatsoever.

 

Once we take this perspective it begins to dawn that life is replete with unsatisfactoriness. There is no end to it. Now I get what the Buddha was talking about. It’s the suffering, stupid. It’s the unsatisfactoriness. I am constantly dissatisfied with virtually everything. What a miserable way to live. Seeing the all pervasiveness of my suffering, it becomes evident that I’m rarely truly happy and even then when it’s over I feel unsatisfied. This reveals another way that unsatisfactoriness arises. One that is produced by the impermanence of all things. Everything is constantly changing and I find it unsatisfactory when good stuff goes away or when bad stuff begins. I want pleasurable experiences never to end and unpleasant ones never to begin. This is perfectly reasonable, but nevertheless a major source of the unsatisfactoriness that fills my day.

 

So, life is inherently unsatisfactory. How can one ever experience eternal bliss, if unsatisfactoriness is everywhere? I guess that’s what the Buddha was talking about. It has been said that the way to nirvana is through samsara or in plain language we must go through suffering to get to bliss. If this is true, then we must fully experience and understand our unsatisfactoriness in order to make progress on the spiritual path toward enlightenment. The first step is to carefully explore our experiences and see where and what we find unsatisfactory.

 

So, begin with the suffering, stupid.

 

“On top of the sufferings of birth, aging, sickness, and death, we encounter the pains of facing the unpleasant, separating from the pleasant, and not finding what we want. The basic problem lies with the type of mind and body that we have. Our mind-body complex serves as a basis for present sufferings in the form of aging, sickness, and death, and promotes future suffering through our usual responses to painful situations.” – Dalai Lama

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

Awakening-like Experiences Occur with Epilepsy in the Insula

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mystical experiences epilepsy2 Gschwing

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Dostoevsky described his seizures in a letter to a friend: “I feel entirely in harmony with myself and the whole world, and this feeling is so strong and so delightful that for a few seconds of such bliss one would gladly give up 10 years of one’s life, if not one’s whole life.”” – Anil Ananthaswamy

 

Millions of people worldwide perform practices, such as meditation, yoga, and prayer, to achieve a spiritual awakening. Others use drugs such as peyote, ayahuasca  and psilocybin to induce spiritual awakenings. If successful, these people report unique profound experiences that permanently alter their lives and the way they perceive the world. These experiences have many characteristics many of which are unique to the experiencer, their religious context, and their present situation. They include a state of ecstasy, bliss, love and joy, a sense of ultimate freedom and belonging, a transcendence of space and time, a sense of lacking control over the event, a greater sense of meaning and purpose of life, a sense of timelessness, a sense of having encountered ultimate reality, a sense of sacredness, a sense that one cannot adequately describe the richness of this experience. But, the common, central feature of all of these experiences is a sense on oneness, that all things are contained in a single thing, a sense of union with the universe and/or God and everything in existence.

 

The fact that these experiences can be induced by drugs and that drugs have their effects by altering the chemistry of the nervous system, has led to the notion that perhaps these experiences are not actually spiritual but rather simply an altered state of the brain produced by drugs or intense spiritual practices. An important observation in this regard is that alterations of the brain can make it more likely that an individual will have a spiritual experience. Spiritual experiences can occur occasionally with epileptic seizures. This may provide clues as to what neural structures are involved in spiritual experiences.

 

In today’s Research News article “Ecstatic Epileptic Seizures: A Glimpse into the Multiple Roles of the Insula.” See:

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1278188525538404/?type=3&theater

or below or view the full text of the study at:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4756129/

Gschwind and Picard review published cases of individuals who report spiritual experiences with the onset of an epileptic seizure. Their review led them to hypothesize that the focal area for the production of spiritual experiences is the insular cortex. This is a large piece pf cerebral cortex that has been enfolded with growth of the cortex and does not appear on the surface. It has been covered and is buried deep inside at the juncture of the parietal, temporal, and frontal lobes. The insula is highly interconnected with a wide variety of other cortical and subcortical areas of the brain. It has been implicated in consciousness and appears to play a role in diverse functions usually linked to emotion or the regulation of the body’s homeostasis. These functions include perception, motor control, self-awareness, cognitive functioning, and interpersonal experience. So, the insula would appear to be well situated to produce and affect higher level experiences.

 

Gschwind and Picard review cases of spiritual (ecstatic) experiences that occur with epileptic seizures either located in or affecting the activity of the insula. In addition, they review cases where direct electrical stimulation of the insula produce reports of spiritual-like experiences in awake humans. This together with the widespread interconnectivity of the insula and its suspected role in higher conscious experience, makes a case that the insula is the area of the brain that is central to spiritual (ecstatic) experiences.

 

The reviewed information is highly complex and the conclusions are speculative. They are far from proving the case that the insula is responsible for spiritual (ecstatic) experiences. But, it provides sufficient enticing evidence that further scrutiny of this area and its association to these experiences should be undertaken. It should be mentioned that no area in the brain works alone. Rather complex behaviors and experiences are produced by the joint action of large numbers of areas throughout the brain. So, pointing to the insula only suggests that it may be central to the disparate neural system underlying spiritual (ecstatic) experiences.

 

That spiritual (ecstatic) experiences can be produced by epileptic seizures and by electrical stimulation of the brain, combined with the fact that drugs that alter brain chemistry can also produce these experiences, suggests that neural systems may underlie all spiritual experiences. This should not be surprising as the experiences are physical in nature, very unusual sensory experiences, but physical experiences nonetheless. So, it should be as no surprise that a physical entity, the brain, may underlie them. It has yet to be conclusively shown, however, the experiences produced by epilepsy, stimulation, or drugs is the same as that reported by mystics and spiritual seekers. This also leaves open the question as to what it is that’s registering and aware of. these experiences. It appears that regardless of what produces them, the underlying awareness registering them is unchanged.

 

“The anterior insula may be where all manner of feelings, including bodily pleasures and pains; sights, sounds and smells; emotions, expectations and intentions; and even the sense of one’s physical surroundings are integrated into a unified sense of a “self” moving through time.

If this hypothesis is true, then disturbances to the anterior insula would likely cause disturbances to the usual sense of self-awareness.” – Jim Schnabel

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are available at the Contemplative Studies Blog http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/

 

Study Summary

Gschwind, M., & Picard, F. (2016). Ecstatic Epileptic Seizures: A Glimpse into the Multiple Roles of the Insula. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 10, 21. http://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2016.00021

 

Abstract

Ecstatic epileptic seizures are a rare but compelling epileptic entity. During the first seconds of these seizures, ecstatic auras provoke feelings of well-being, intense serenity, bliss, and “enhanced self-awareness.” They are associated with the impression of time dilation, and can be described as a mystic experience by some patients. The functional neuroanatomy of ecstatic seizures is still debated. During recent years several patients presenting with ecstatic auras have been reported by others and us (in total n = 52); a few of them in the setting of presurgical evaluation including electrical brain stimulation. According to the recently recognized functions of the insula, and the results of nuclear brain imaging and electrical stimulation, the ecstatic symptoms in these patients seem to localize to a functional network centered around the anterior insular cortex, where we thus propose to locate this rare ictal phenomenon. Here we summarize the role of the multiple sensory, autonomic, affective, and cognitive functions of the insular cortex, which are integrated into the creation of self-awareness, and we suggest how this system may become dysfunctional on several levels during ecstatic aura.

 

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Beaches

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy…Beach Therapy.” – Amy Dykens

 

“At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun.” – Anonymous
What is the great attraction of going to the beach. On the surface it appears to be actually an uncomfortable activity as reflected by Erma Bombeck “On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.” But, nevertheless it’s still amazingly popular with 23% of Americans going to the beach each year and 33% indicating that they would select the beach if they had only one place to go on vacation.

Why are beaches such a hugely popular destination? Obviously, the opportunity for recreation such as swimming, snorkeling, sailing, surfing, etc. adds to its popularity. But, let’s take a look from a different perspective. In analyzing the nature of beaches we can see that they are an interface of between the three states of matter; solid, liquid, and gaseous, with rocks and sand, water, and air meeting. At the beach all of these states of matter interact and are interdependent. The wind blowing over the water creates the waves while the structure of the solids creates surfaces to initiate and absorb the waves breaking. All of this is driven by the sun’s energy and the moon’s gravitational pull. So at a beach we are immersed with the interconnected interplay of matter and energy. The wind and water pulse at levels that are dependent on the intensity of the forces at work. In addition, we can become part of that interaction and play in the surf where the power of these vast forces is on display but at manageable levels.

 

But why is there such an attraction to the beach? Perhaps it has to do with the fact that human beings also display the three states of matter in interdependence and interaction. The liquid surges with the heartbeat, the air pumps in and out in rhythm, both driven by the solids of heart and lung which are in turn powered by the suns energy in the form of food, combining solids, liquids, and gases. So, the human physically is to some extent a replica of a beach. Hence, we feel a kinship and attraction to the beach. We sense that the beach is alive like ourselves and we are attracted to that aliveness, to that pulsating replica of our physical nature.

 

The human, however, is more than just solid, liquid, and gas. The human also has an awareness, an experiencing entity, a watcher, that registers components of the internal and external environments. But, even though only the ever changing sensations of the present moment are being registered the mind attempts to hold onto everything. It does so by labelling and classifying, placing it into memory and comparing to prior experiences. It creates a sense of permanence that defies reality. Our perceptual systems in the brain are designed to produce an experience of constancy even though the actual sensory information is changing. Hence, our experience of that world as presented in the mind appears relatively permanent and unchanging.

 

But, this is not what is really going on. Our minds have produced an illusion. The truth is that everything is impermanent and constantly changing, arising, and falling away. Buddhism teaches that denying impermanence and attempting to hold onto things inevitably leads to suffering. To relieve that suffering we must accept the impermanence of everything, we must let all experiences be as they are, we must not grasp or attempt to hold onto them. As a result our grasping at permanence produces a deep feeling of unsatisfactoriness. We walk through life with this queasy feeling that something is just not right.

 

What we experience on the beach does not match up well to the relative permanence of things that our mind is producing. On the beach, impermanence is on display with ever changing movement and interplay. On the beach the wind, the waves, and even the sand itself is in perpetual motion, rising up and falling away. So, the beach is a far better match to what is true and what our awareness experiences and not the minds created illusions. We love the beach because of its synchrony with actual aware experience, unveiling the true nature of existence.

 

We can feel the beach’s authenticity and synchrony with our true nature. We are one with existence at the beach. As a result unsatisfactoriness and suffering melt away as we immerse in an honest replica of the reality of our existence. It is no wonder that a visit to the beach is so desired and so satisfying. This all happens unconsciously, of course, for most. We don’t actually see or understand this. Rather we intuitively feel it, and it feels very, very good.

 

So, visit the beach and experience the truth of existence.

 

“When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.” – Rainer Maria
CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

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The Noble Eightfold Path with Relationships

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By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“When we have closer intimate relationships, maybe a marital relationship or lover relationship where sexuality is involved, then we assume we want more from each other. And, there’s the rub. This is where the Buddhist idea of true love helps. True love is where you want the happiness of the beloved; it’s not that you want something from the beloved. You just want to give to the beloved. Shantideva said, “All the joy the world contains has come through wishing happiness for others. All the misery the world contains has come through wanting happiness for oneself.” – Robert Thurman

 

Probably the best place to practice the Eightfold Path is not on the meditation mat or in a cloistered environment but in the midst of the chaos of everyday life. There are wonderful opportunities to practice presented to us all the time embedded in the complexities of the modern world. In fact, the whole idea of practicing on the mat is to learn things that will apply to our everyday existence. What better place is there, then, than the real environment to practice them.

 

In previous essays, we discussed driving an automobile and the work environment as excellent venues for practice. In today’s essay we’ll discuss practicing in the midst of our relationships with significant others. This is an excellent context in which to practice the Buddha’s Eightfold Path. It is filled with emotions, desires, sex, conflicts, suffering, compassion, and memories. In other words, our relationships have all the ingredients to practice and to put to the test all the principles of mindfulness and the Eightfold Path for the cessation of suffering; Right View, Right Intentions, Right Speech, Right Actions, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration.

 

There are many wonderful opportunities in relationships to practice the Right View idea of impermanence. Indeed, our relationships are constantly changing. One day is full of love, understanding and kindness and the next filled with conflict, resentment, and anger. No matter how bad or good the relationships are or the daily interactions between partners, they are sure to change. Sexual relations are a wonderful example of impermanence, with desires and feeling changing dramatically from moment to moment, but none of it can be held onto for more than a moment. They come and they go. They’re impermanent. This exemplifies the Right View idea of transitoriness. We all grow and develop and change throughout our lifetime and these changes can be challenging for relationships. There’s an old story about relationships that upon marriage, the woman believes that the man will change, but he doesn’t, while the man believes that the woman will never change, but she does! Adapting and coping with these changes requires that we understand impermanence, the Right View.

 

We can also practice the Right View idea of interconnectedness. Relationships are cooperative ventures. How interconnected the couple is, is on display. Relationships require consideration of the needs and aspirations of both partners by both partners. Acting alone would is a sure formula for chaos and conflict in a relationship. You affect your partner and your partner affects you, which affects your partner, which, in turn, affects you and so on. If there are children involved this interconnectedness becomes magnified. Keep in mind “If you want to be happy effectively, then think about other people’s happiness and you will be. Think about your own happiness only, and you will always be dissatisfied because you will never have enough.”  – Robert Thurman. Understanding and adapting to the dynamic interplay between partners requires that we recognize, adapt to, and work with this interconnectedness, the Right View.

 

In relationships we can also view and practice the Right View idea of no permanent self. This thing called self that you think of a permanent and static actually changes moment to moment in reaction to what transpires in relationships. How you view yourself and your beliefs about the supposed self can change in a flash depending upon what your partner says and does. You may think of yourself as a kind and loving person, but your partner treats you like a selfish and cruel person. This can change this idea of the self. A little mindful reflection regarding this reveals that this thing that we call the self was never permanent in the first place but changing and evolving, coming and going, just like everything else. The highly emotionally charged cauldron of relationships amplifies this and makes it clearer and clearer. This is a tremendous learning experience. Coming to grips with this requires that we develop the Right View of no permanent self.

 

It is hard to find a better context than relationships to develop the Right View idea of suffering and unsatisfactoriness, and their roots. In relationships we want everything to be exactly as we want it to be, and when it isn’t we suffer. We want our partners to understand us, we want sex to fulfill our fantasies, we want to always be agreed with, we want more excitement and less dull chores, we want our partners to acquiesce to all our decisions, we want to have space, we don’t want to deal with our in-laws, we want our partners to unconditionally love us, etc. When these things don’t happen, we suffer. In other words, you can learn, if you are observant of what is happening in relationships, that your suffering is caused by your lack of acceptance of how things really are in your relationship. So, relationships constitute wonderful laboratories to practice Right View. You can learn to accept things as they are, to see things without judgment, to view the relationship, your partner, and children just as they are, as individual human being with their own desires and needs. When you view them this way, the love grows, and the incredible wonder of life and loving begins to reveal itself. You can learn to understand that the way you act with them has consequences, affecting yourself and the rest of the family, in other words, you practice and develop Right View.

 

You can readily practice Right Intentions in relationships and this can lead to Right Actions. Intentions are a key. They become your moral compass. These intentions include the happiness of our partner. “True love is where you want the happiness of the beloved; it’s not that you want something from the beloved.”  – Robert Thurman. They tend to lead you in the right direction even though you may at times stumble.  But, it is often difficult or impossible to predict all of the consequences of your actions. Sometimes, even with the Right Intentions you can cause your partner to suffer. For example, you may want to provide a high standard of living for your partner and family and work long hours to do so. But, this may cause your partner to be lonely and unhappy or your children to feel neglected. You need to try to not only to have Right Intentions, but to discern how even the best of intentions can sometime produce harmful outcomes. The truly Right Intentions do not produce harm, only good. You have to sometimes balance the good you’re doing with the harm produced by the same actions. This requires Right View. This is where relationships can be such a great practice as you can learn what works and what doesn’t and become better at discerning what are the wholesome Right Actions from those that produce more harm than good.

 

Right Intentions also includes the abandonment of unwholesome desires. If you relate to your partner with anger, impatience, selfishness, resentment you are likely to harm them and yourself. The harm may not be major or direct, but indirect by affecting partner and children in negative ways. Perhaps your anger at your partner overdrawing a checking account causes you to lash out at your children. Perhaps, your selfishness causes you to neglect you partners requests or needs eliciting frustration or anger in your partner, or simply cause them to suffer. But sometimes you can produce direct harm to your partner. This can occur when anger and alcohol result in physical or psychological abuse or when your sexual desires cause you to force yourself on an unwilling partner.

 

On the other hand, if you practice Right Intentions with sincere intentions to create good and happiness, relieve suffering, you will treat your partner with tolerance and understanding, with kindness and good will. When our partners are treated with respect, compassion, and helpfulness or when a partner’s anger or frustration are reacted to with patience, kindness, and tolerance, harm and suffering have likely been prevented. A considerate sexual relationship, where the intentions are to love and satisfy your partner, the relationship will become more satisfying for both of you, particularly if your partner has the same Right Intentions. The happiness and love produced carries into everything that you do affecting how you treat you children, your friends, your coworkers, and everyone that you meet. It is good to reflect on the ripples of good that may have been created by the Right Actions producing positive consequences, which produce more positive consequences, producing more positive consequences, etc. well into the future. So, if you form Right Intentions and aspire to create good and happiness you’ll be a better partner and will produce more harmony and good will in in all of your interactions and more importantly will be moving yourself along the eightfold path.

 

There are many opportunities to practice Right Speech in relationships. This can include non-verbal communications such as facial expressions, body postures, etc., perhaps even holding hands or loving glances. But, predominantly Right Speech is verbal. You may have a bad habit of often reacting to a mistake with reflexive emotional expletives. This can occur in response to something as simple as dropping a glass of wine. This can also include gestures. These can occur reflexively or even without awareness but do no good and create harm in yourself and sometimes aggravate your partner. Keep in mind the advice “Have a fast ear and a slow tongue.” ~Mark Ward. Right Speech also involves refraining from gossip. Couples often gossip or repeat rumors about family and friends. This can hurt others in unpredictable and sometimes unknown ways. In addition, Right Speech is truthful speech. In communicating with your partner only speak things that you know are absolutely true. Even “little white lies” have a cumulative effect eroding trust and understanding, while always speaking the truth promotes trust, understanding, and harmony. Right Speech takes practice. We have years of training and daily multiple examples of wrong speech. So, be patient and practice. Slowly the effects and benefits will become apparent.

 

The notion of Right Livelihood mandates that the couple’s occupations not only earns a living but also creates greater happiness, wisdom, and well-being, and relieves suffering. Conversely, they should not produce harm. Some occupations can be clearly seen as creating harm such as manufacturing, selling, or delivering weapons, cigarettes, or harmful drugs, human trafficking, or driving animals to slaughter. Some occupations clearly seem to create greater good and happiness, such as teacher, aid worker, nurse, etc. But, most occupations are a little more difficult to tell. Sometimes harm is produced indirectly, such as by damaging the environment, or resulting in layoffs from a competitor, or by producing goods or services that can be misused or used by others to create harm. Although rarely having direct effects upon relationships, engaging in Right Livelihood can do so indirectly. Feeling good about what you do for work can spill over bringing those good feelings home. Also, developing the discernment required to understand the impact of your occupations is a useful skill for understanding the impact of your actions upon your partner.

 

Relationships also present a great context to practice Right Effort. It takes substantial effort to interact mindfully. If you act automatically as most people do most of the time, there is little or no mindfulness and little or no effort.  When you first get up in the morning you have to set the intention to engage in your daily activities in such a way as to lessen suffering in yourself and your partner, to act with kindness, compassion, patience, and courtesy, to drop fear, anger, hatred, selfishness, and to bring to our interactions with our partner the intention to promote well-being and happiness. Right Effort is working the “Middle Way.” That is not trying too hard and getting stressed about interacting and loving properly, and also not being lackadaisical, but rather to try, but relax. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re not relating to your partner mindfully, but congratulate yourself when you do. The “Middle Way” is where effort should be targeted.

 

Acting mindlessly is probably the norm. Most people perform their routine daily activities while their minds are elsewhere, ruminating about the past, planning for the future, or off in fantasy and daydreams. This provides you with a terrific opportunity to practice Right Mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn defined mindfulness as “paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.” What better opportunity to practice this than while your interacting with your partner? Right Mindfulness precludes focusing on social media or engaging in other distractions when with your partner. Right Mindfulness makes you acutely aware of what is happening and how you’re feeling during every moment together. Awareness of how you’re feeling and what’s producing those feelings, and how you’re reacting to them makes you better able to interact effectively without emotional outbursts that are non-productive and can hurt your partner. Right Mindfulness is not just part of the eightfold path it is a prerequisite for the practice of the seven other components of the path. So, relating mindfully is a fundamental practice and relationships are great situations for practice.

 

Right Concentration is the practice of focusing the mind solely on one object or a specific unchanging set of objects. This is developed during contemplative practice such as meditation. It is essential to effectively interacting with you partner. Our world is replete with distractions and interruptions. But, to truly be attentive and listening mindfully to our partner we must concentrate. Right Concentration in relationships includes making the effort to be there for your partner and deeply listen to them. There are very few more important things that you can do in relationships than to simply give your partner your full presence, your full attention, your full mindfulness. Improvement in attentional ability is a consequence of practicing Right Concentration. The ability to concentrate and screen out intrusive sounds, sights, speech and thoughts allow you to focus on your partner, producing a higher quality relationship. In addition, it is thought that Right Concentration requires Right Effort, Right Intentions, and Right Mindfulness and these can also be practiced and developed. So, interacting with our beloved is a wonderful situation for the practice of Right Concentration, benefiting each partner.

 

Negotiating the eightfold path in relationships is not easy. But, remember that it is a practice. Over time you’ll better and better at it, but nowhere near perfect. Frequently the discursive mind takes over or your emotions will get the better of you. But, by continuing the practice you’ll slowly progress. you’ll become a better partner and have a more relaxed, loving, and happier relationship. Keep in mind the teaching that actions that lead to greater harmony and happiness should be practiced, while those that lead to unsatisfactoriness and unhappiness should be let go. One of the keys in the practice is mindfully observing your partner and yourself. This allows you to discern the improvements even when they’re small and subtle.  Over time, these small improvements add up.  Without doubt, practicing the eightfold path lead to a terrific, happy, satisfying, loving relationship.

 

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~Lao Tzu

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

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