Present Moment

Happiness is Just a Spin Away

psyjdc Leave a comment

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

 “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” – Frederick Keonig

 

We were recently driving through Louisiana and passed a billboard advertising a casino with the headline “Happiness is just a spin away.” For the gambler, this is the lure. Each win is a rush of happiness. Unfortunately, it’s short-lived. The next burst of happiness is now right in front of the gambler if they just continue spinning. From a psychological standpoint this is a perfect example of the power of intermittent reinforcement. When a reward is contingent upon an action, in this case pulling the lever on a slot machine, but the dispensing of the reward is not predictable, with the number of pulls needed to produce the reward not predictable, it produces a very potent form of conditioning. It is why gambling is so addictive. The brief rush of a win strongly conditions the lever pulling to get the next rush.

 

I was struck by how well the sign, “Happiness is just a spin away,” captured the western ideas of happiness and how to obtain it. It is a perpetual cycle of reward producing brief happiness followed by the loss of happiness followed by more action to produce another brief happiness. This is what psychologists term the hedonic treadmill. On the face of it, it sounds silly. We would never do that. But, if we look honestly and carefully at our lives we will see that most of it is spent on the hedonic treadmill. We work to purchase a new car and get a rush of happiness, but after a while it fades. So, we pursue a new love interest, and get a rush of happiness, but after a while it fades. So we work to purchase a new home and get a rush of happiness, but after a while it fades. So, we look for a new job and get a rush of happiness, but after a while it fades. And on and on it goes, on the treadmill, pursuing the ephemeral happiness that we can never seem to be able to keep a hold of. So, we spin the wheel again.

 

Humans consider themselves smart people. But, it never seems to occur to most people that there may be something wrong with their idea of how to obtain happiness. After spending the majority of our lives failing to obtain the lasting happiness that we seek, you’d think that we’d catch on that what we’re doing isn’t working, hasn’t ever worked, and there’s no reason to believe that it ever will work. But working against that recognition is a society and a culture that is determined to keep us on the hedonic treadmill. The western consumer culture requires that we keep seeking happiness in things. If we didn’t, the economy might collapse. It is virtually impossible to escape the advertising messages that pervade our everyday lives. Each holds out the promise of happiness if we just use this toothpaste, take this drug, drive this car, see this movie, go to this concert, buy this gadget, etc. The barrage of messages is all geared to keeping us on the treadmill. If there is a crack, a glimmer of vision that something might be wrong, the messaging distracts us by bombarding us with the idea that “happiness is just a spin away.”

 

So, what are we to do? Give up the search for happiness? No, that is a waste of time. We are born with a biological program to seek happiness and to deny it is to fight against our biological nature. So, trying to not seek happiness is as futile as to pursue it on the hedonic treadmill. Fortunately, there is an answer. One so simple, that few see it. It’s right in front of us hidden in our delusions of what makes us happy. It is so simple that we can’t believe that that could be the answer. It is so contrary to the cultural messaging that we can’t trust that it could work even if we saw it. It’s simply to accept what is, enjoy what we have, and be in the present moment.

 

If we adopt the belief that happiness is right here, right now, if we only allow ourselves to accept it, then we will begin to look at our existence differently. We don’t need to search somewhere else. We don’t need to wait to another time. All we need to do is look closely, without judgment at our present experience. We have become so used to it that we can no longer see it. But, what is here in the present moment is actually wondrous and miraculous. Each breath is a miracle. The energy and life just bubbling in and through our bodies is amazing. How can we not be happy when we realize the mystery of our existence and what a gift this precious moment is. We’ve experienced so many similar moments, are so accustomed to them, that it’s difficult to break through and see the wonder in each one. But, just concentrate, if only occasionally, on fully experiencing what is transpiring right now. It just might change your life.

 

Just take a look around. Listen to the bird chirp and wonder at the experience of hearing and the sheer beauty of the singing. Look at the tree where the bird is perched and enjoy its uniqueness. There has never been and never will be one just like it. See its beautiful nuanced colors from the myriad shades of brown of the bark to the shimmering green of its leaves in the sunlight. Look at its roots and be amazed by its stability and strength, at their ability to remove nutrients and water from the ground and move them a 100 feet into the air. Look at its leaves wonder at their ability to use the sun’s energy to create complex molecules and energy from the nutrients. Now look at the person standing under the tree and witness their uniqueness. Marvel at their ability to simply stand or walk and what an amazing feat of balance, dexterity, coordination, and strength it is. Look in their eyes and realize the consciousness that is looking through them and seeing you. Observe their happiness, sadness, joy, fear, etc. and recognize how much just like you they are. Relish the fact that you are not alone. This could go on and on. There is so much right in front of you in this present moment to keep you entertained and awed for days on end.

 

The ultimate reward for making the effort to deeply experience the present moment is the happiness which will grow. Not the ephemeral happiness or the momentary highs of the hedonic treadmill, but an enduring, satisfying, mellow happiness that can be re-invoked at will. Happiness is not “a spin away.” It is always present and accessible in the present. So, get off the treadmill and discover the happiness that has always been present inside you. You only need to stop the seeking elsewhere and just be in the present. Happiness is not somewhere else at some other time. It is here all of the time for the picking. You just have to stop waiting for the results of the “spin” and simply enjoy “spinning.”

 

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are  also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

Red Means Relax

psyjdc Leave a comment

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

 “City life is stressful. Everybody is running around like crazy, stuck in traffic jams trying to make meetings, trying to make ends meet, trying to meet deadlines, trying to get kids to and from activities. There aren’t enough hours in the day for all this business.” – Rebecca Pidgeon
Modern life is stressful and busy. We move through the day from task to task. A successful day is defined as one where the day’s to-do list has been virtually completed. This busyness usually occurs mindlessly. That’s not to say that the mind isn’t engaged. In fact, it’s fully engaged in thoughts and plans, and memories and ruminations. But often when engaged in one task the mind is occupied with thoughts of completing it so that we can move on to the next one. In the process we do not fully appreciate what we’re doing at the moment. This strategy is effective in accomplishing an agenda. But, it produces a very big problem, we’re so busy doing we neglect being.

 

Although much is accomplished, we never really enjoy the accomplishing, only the accomplishment. We have ignored the most important thing in life; awareness of the present moment. We can only fully experience life in the present moment. We can only revel in the wonder of our existence in the present moment. We can only be truly happy in the present moment. It’s impossible to negotiate the modern world without being lost in thought frequently. The problem is that we spend the entire day in that state.

 

Thus the modern world occupies us totally. Only occasionally do we have a quiet moment to reflect on what’s really happening. We’re moving from to-do list to to-do list and our lives are passing by without really living. That realization should be a jolt. We’ve somehow lost perspective and gotten so caught up in the minutia that we now see it as important instead of the trivialities that they are. To truly experience and enjoy our lives and be happy we must find ways to interrupt the mindless thinking and intersperse periods of mindfulness, where we are fully engaged in what is happening in the moment. There are so many signals in the environment to distract us and create endless thinking but there are none to signal mindfulness. In order to promote mindfulness, we need to identify signals in the environment that we can use as triggers for mindfulness.

 

While driving it is important for our safety to pay attention. But, there are occasional signals that are useful as signals for mindfulness. One I particularly like is the red traffic light. I used to encounter a red light and respond with frustration and sometimes anger that I was being delayed. My mind would be full of thoughts about what I might have done to avoid the light or about anger with the other drivers who kept me from making the light or searching for indications that the light was about to change and my torment would soon end. But, in fact there is nothing you can do. So the best strategy is to actually do nothing. I repeat to myself the simple phrase “red means relax.” Don’t do, just relax and do nothing.

 

The red light is in fact a wonderful opportunity to relax, take a deep breath, and allow the accumulated stress of driving to dissipate. It is also a wonderful time just to be mindful and appreciate the present moment. Look around and see the beautiful sky and appreciate the intense blueness and the ever changing landscape of clouds. See the other cars and drivers and marvel at the orderliness of movement produced by traffic control. Note how wonderful red lights actually are in keeping us safe and traffic moving. Look at the light itself and marvel at the color of red, how it registers in our eyes and is viewed in our awareness. Feel the sensations from our bodies, feel the energy, appreciate the health, and marvel at the miracle of life. There is so much waiting for us at red lights, it’s such a shame that we’ve been wasting it for so long.

 

A wonderful part of relaxing to red is that we return to driving with an entirely new attitude. I start viewing other drivers as fellow travelers, not annoyances or competitors. I start appreciating the sensations of driving, something that has been long ignored while we cruise along on “auto-pilot.” You’ll be amazed at the effect of this simple small rest, that cost you nothing, yet earned you so much.

 

The next task is to find other stimuli or events that can be used to trigger mindfulness within the stream of daily life. Meals can be helpful, provided you eat quietly, without media or reading, or looking at Facebook posts on our smartphones. I admit that I’m not very good with this one, but my wife is and it’s transformed her appreciation of food, eating, and the understanding of the interconnectedness of it all.

 

Look for times in your own daily activit1es when it really isn’t necessary that you be focused on a task. Turn off your phones, take a deep breath, relax, and be mindful. An evening walk could become a source of joy and happiness, a coffee break at work could refresh you much more deeply than effectively still working in your head, a shopping trip could be a sensory extravaganza, even an interaction with loved ones could be occasions for deeply listening and just being present for them, transforming your relationships. There are many possibilities. Find one and try it out. If you find that it produces greater joy and happiness in your life, keep doing it, and look for another to add. Keep it up, expanding your times of mindfulness and feel your reintegration into your life.

 

So, stop at red lights and remember “red means relax.”

 

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” – William S. Burroughs
CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts

What’s Missing from the Present Moment

psyjdc Leave a comment

 

“The mind is never satisfied with the objects immediately before it, but is always breaking away from the present moment, and losing itself in schemes of future felicity… The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope.” – Samuel Johnson

 

One of the central tenets of Buddhism is that life is characterized by dukkha, which is usually translated as suffering. But, I prefer the less colorful translation as unsatisfactoriness. We in general constantly find ourselves and our lives to be unsatisfactory. It would appear to be a human characteristic to be constantly striving for something better. This can be a good thing as it’s been a driving force behind the development of agriculture, science, medicine, and engineering which has allowed us to improve our physical well-being. But, it has left us with intense feelings of unsatisfactoriness, dukkha.

 

This constant striving for something better results in seeing whatever is currently happening as flawed and needing improvement. Hence, we critically evaluate the present and find it unsatisfactory, not quite up to what it could be. As a result we impatiently wait for whatever is going on now to end so we can move on to the next thing. Unfortunately, when we get there, that too is seen as flawed and unsatisfactory and we again look forward to the next thing. But, that too is unsatisfactory. So we eagerly anticipate the next thing which of course is also found to be unsatisfactory, etc. etc. etc.

 

So we never enjoy anything for simply what it is. We are constantly looking for something better in the future, which of course it never is. So we move through life never happy, never appreciating all the beauty, wonder, and happiness that is present right now. What a sad treadmill! Constantly striving but never attaining the elusive perfect experience. A bit of thought quickly leads to the conclusion that the problem is that we never simply immerse ourselves in what is present. We’re always looking forward to something better resulting in us never truly enjoying what is.

 

When you’re on this treadmill and looking forward to a better future that never comes, break out of it by thinking “what exactly is missing from this very moment?” Examine what is actually present right here, right now, not in relation to the past or the future, but simply as it is right now. Is there anything that is actually missing? If you look deeply you’ll begin to see that nothing is missing. The present moment is complete and wonderful. Everything is perfect just as it is.

 

This takes some practice as our minds constantly want to find flaws and find ways to improve things. Don’t think about what might make it better. That involves memories of the past and expectations for the future. Simply, focus on what is. Look at what you’re experiencing. Listen deeply to the sounds that are present. The gnawing sound of the motorized lawn tools that is breaking up your peace is actually quite fascinating if you listen carefully. What a miracle it is that you experience it. Somehow you can sense which direction it’s coming from and how far away it is. How do you do that? What a wonder. Look carefully at what it is about it that makes you cringe and want it to go away. Realize that this unique sound will never be present again exactly as it is right now. How amazing is that? Here’s a one of a kind completely unique experience right here in your present moment.

 

Look at the intricacies and beauty available in the simplest things around you. Appreciate the incredible ability of the fly to soar through the air. Slowly you’ll begin to appreciate its completeness and its perfection. Look what is right in front of you. It may not be picturesque, perhaps a parking lot. But revel in the colors and forms that are witnessed. Appreciate the miracle of seeing. We take it so for granted. So, look at it deeply. What a wonder it is. What a delight!

 

Now let the greatest wonder of the present moment come front and center. Look at what is looking. Observe not just what’s being seen, but observe what’s seeing, what’s listening, what’s feeling, what’s knowing. What you’re observing is completely incomprehensible to science. It is one of the greatest mysteries in the universe, human consciousness, and you can view it right now within yourself. It’s only available in the present moment, but it’s truly one of the greatest wonders of all.

 

What could possibly be missing from this incredible moment? If you simply look at it deeply, honestly, without recourse to the past and future, you’ll find that it is absolutely complete and perfect as it is. You need not look to something else for happiness it’s right here, right now, in the miracle of existence, that’s always there in every moment.

 

“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life – and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you” – Eckhart Tolle

 

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.” – Eckhart Tolle

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

What’s the Big Deal about the Present Moment?

psyjdc Leave a comment

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha
The present day mindfulness movement has made a mantra of the present moment. There are constant calls to be in the “now”, to pay attention to the present, to be aware of our state at this very moment. Whenever something like this gets into pop culture, as it has, it almost inevitably takes on meanings beyond the simple idea originally represented. The notion of the present moment is no different. It’s not rocket science. It’s simply what is right now.

 

To many, the idea of being in the present moment is not an attractive one. The present is full of suffering, it is stressful, it is unsatisfactory, and sometimes it’s terrifying. Such people not only don’t want to be in the present moment they do everything they can to escape it. They immerse themselves in books, movies, TV, social media, etc. to escape. Many use drugs and alcohol to get away from “now” and still others use thrill seeking in an attempt to make the present moment more exciting and pleasurable. But these escapes do not solve the underlying problems. Instead, they merely cover them up, to be suffered through at other times.

 

So, to many people the idea of being in the present seems ludicrous. Why focus on the suffering? Why work to stay in the place they find so uncomfortable and unsatisfactory. What is missed is that the present moment may seem to be the problem, but it is in fact the solution. After all, where else could problems be dealt with? The past can’t be changed and the future is simply a present moment that has not yet arrived. So, the present moment is a big deal because it is the only time that any problems can be solved, any issues addressed, and any happiness experienced. In fact, truly seeing the present moment as it is lets us see where our unhappiness and suffering are coming from.

 

The Buddha said that “I teach only two things: suffering and the end of suffering.” He recognized that things were unsatisfactory in the present moment, but paradoxically the unsatisfactoriness can only be ended in the present moment. Part of the problem that people have in seeing this is that their experience of the present moment is not a pure experience of the very moment. Instead it is colored by past experiences and future expectations and it is these that are the source of the suffering. Releasing them and seeing everything just as it is, is what is needed to relieve the suffering.

 

For many the present moment is filled with, not what’s simply there, but with their judgments and interpretations of what’s present based upon their past experiences. So, rather than enjoy a social interaction the individual is fearful and unhappy because in the past similar social encounters have produced unhappiness. Their past experiences cause them to interpret the current situation as a threat and not an opportunity. This makes the present moment unsatisfactory, even though, taking it simply for what it is, it is not only satisfactory but wonderful. The rumination about the past prevents the enjoyment of the moment from ever occurring.
For many the present moment and the things that are in it are predictors of future disaster or pain. The present moment is filled with anxiety fueled by constant worry and fear about the future. So the present moment is never honestly experienced, it’s constantly being seen as an indicator that problems are on the horizon. This causes these people to completely miss the wonder of the present moment.

 

We engage in mindfulness training in order to see the present moment as it is. The training works to eliminate the ruminations and worries that taint the experience of the present. It works to stop the judging and labelling of whatever is present. Our conditioning is deep and it takes time and practice, but slowly we begin to see the present in its glory. We begin to see that life is unfolding right here and right now, not in a remembered past or an imagined future, but right now. Slowly we begin to see that what is happening is not about us, it doesn’t say anything about us. It just is.

 

In actuality “now” is filled with amazing things and great joy and happiness, if we just let it. It is a big deal. In fact it’s the only deal.

 

The “Now” may be seen as boring, containing little that is new. But, in actuality, “now” is a unique moment that has never happened before and will never happen again. If we just look at it carefully we can easily discern how unique and amazing this very moment is. The fact of our breathing is simply a miracle. We are blessed by the beautiful sensations that are constantly being refreshed. We experience the biggest miracle of all, that we are aware of this very moment. Seeing and understanding that can lead to insight and awakening that can transform existence and it is only available in the present moment.

 

Our lives are the sum total of present moments. Life can only be lived now. Living elsewhere is missing out on all that life has to offer. It’s no wonder people have so many regrets on their death beds. They never truly lived. They never let themselves simply experience the essence of life itself occurring only in present moments. But, living in the “now” is not to avoid regrets. It’s to experience the joy and wonder of interacting with another human being. It’s to be loved and to love. It’s to be awed by how everything arises and falls away. It’s to feel the air on or skin. It’s to hear the music of sounds around us. It’s to see the beauty in everything. It’s to experience the intense pleasures of the flavors of foods. It’s to “smell the roses.”

 

So, practice mindfulness and discover the big deal about the present moment.

 

“The mind is never satisfied with the objects immediately before it, but is always breaking away from the present moment, and losing itself in schemes of future felicity… The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope.”- Samuel Johnson

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

Repair the Damage with Mindfulness

psyjdc Leave a comment

“In today’s rush, we all think too much — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 

Mindfulness practices are known to improve people’s physical, mental, and even social well-being. But, why would mindfulness training, learning to pay attention to the experiences of the present moment without judging the experiences, be so good for people? It is surprising that such a simple training would be so beneficial. Why would we need to practice something as obvious as paying attention to what is going on right in front of our noses.

 

It is particularly puzzling, given that we are born mindful. A newborn infant is the epitome of mindfulness. Everything that is going on grabs their attention and they respond only to the present moment. There is no past as the memory systems have not yet developed and there is no future, as planning and foresight mechanisms have yet to develop. For them there is only now.  Even later in childhood, life is experienced in the present moment. There is a sense of wonder and awe at the world and the beings, human and otherwise, that populate it. Play is a joy unto itself, without goal or purpose.

 

So, if mindfulness is our primal state, why do we later in life need to try to recapture it? It must be that we somehow lost it, otherwise why would we need to practice it. Rather than lost, mindfulness is trained out of us. The training that puts mindfulness to the side is ubiquitous. It’s present in the home, in school, at work, in the media, and in friendship groups. It teaches us to strive for a “better” future, for a degree, for a career, to acquire things, to seek relationships, for a family, to look out to avoid difficult issues or people, to make money. It teaches us to be focused on the future, rather than now. It teaches us to see now, not as something to be savored but as a necessary evil to get to the promised future.

 

We are trained to perfect ourselves, to be better at everything we do. This causes us to focus on the past and particularly things in the past that didn’t work, were troubling, embarrassing, or even terrifying. We try to look back at these events and work out what went wrong and how to avoid it in the future. We are trained to try to have a healthy “self-concept.” This notion unto itself in unmindful as there really isn’t anything there, other than an accumulation of labels, thoughts, stories, and experiences that are summarized as the self. Again this causes us to focus on the past and future in the continuous striving to perfect ourselves.

 

By the time we’re adults severe damage has been done to our appreciation of our existence. Our society and culture not only allows it, but encourages it. Messages in the media and in ads constantly hammer home the notion of perfecting oneself and one’s life situation. We become so focused on these unattainable goals that our lives become a treadmill of unsatisfactoriness leading to more analysis and striving, leading to more unsatisfactoriness, leading to …..  It leads to unhappiness that we delude ourselves will be fixed sometime in the future when we accomplish some objective or acquire some object.

 

The damage that has been done is severe. It makes us constantly dissatisfied and unhappy. There isn’t a magical solution. But, going back toward our primal state of mindfulness will help immensely. But, our minds are so trained to focus on the past and future that we literally need to be retrained. We’ve been trained out of it, so we need to be trained back into it. That is where mindfulness practices come in.

 

Mindfulness practices work to undo the damage that’s been done to us by our society and culture throughout our lives. They work to return us to that happy state of appreciation of the present moment, to return, if only occasionally, to the wonder and awe at this miraculous thing we call life, to the appreciation of the other people that surround us. These practices work to teach us to really listen to one another and become compassionate, and to become active contributors to the overall group happiness.

 

It’s no wonder that mindfulness training is so beneficial to us physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and socially. It repairs the years of damage that so blinds us and makes us so dissatisfied. In a different society, with a different culture and values, mindfulness practice may not be so valuable. But, in our modern western culture, mindfulness practice is almost mandatory to ever truly be healthy and happy.

 

So, practice mindfulness, repair the damage, and thrive.

 

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

Get Connected with Mindfulness

psyjdc Leave a comment

12115436_1105873466103245_1934856157634578042_n.jpg

“The human brain has 100 billion neurons, each neuron connected to 10 thousand other neurons. Sitting on your shoulders is the most complicated object in the known universe.” – Michio Kaku
There are billions of cells in the nervous system that you are born with. Since the number of cells doesn’t increase as we mature, in fact it decreases, it should be obvious that our increased mental capacity is due to the development of connections between these cells. Indeed, the intelligence of a normal individual human is not related to the number of cells in the brain, but rather to how they are connected. It should be clear that the connectivity of the brain is a key to its capacity to perform mental functions.

 

Mindfulness is known to increase the number of cells in certain areas of the nervous system and decrease the number of cells in other areas and also increase the connectivity of some areas to others (see http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/08/01/this-is-your-brain-on-meditation/). Since the interactions between neural areas is so central to determining the capabilities of the nervous system it is important to investigate exactly what areas and systems are activated together and which do not.

 

In today’s Research News article “Mindfulness is associated with intrinsic functional connectivity between default mode and salience networks”

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1105871936103398/?type=3&theater

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4548211/

Doll and colleagues investigated the relative activities of the intrinsic brain networks. Research has identified three distinct interconnected areas, networks that are associated with different mind states during meditation. When the meditator is focused on present experience the dorso-lateral prefrontal cortex, the central executive network (CEN) was activated. During mind wandering the default mode network (DMN) was activated. When the individual became aware of mind wandering the salience network (SN) was activated.

 

Doll and colleagues found that the higher the mindfulness of the individual the greater the inverse relationship between the networks respective activities. That is, they found that the higher the activity of one network the lower the activity of the others. In other words the three networks had tendencies to inhibit each other’s activity. So, when areas associated with increased focus on the present moment were activated there was a reduction in activity in areas associated with mind wandering and detecting salience and visa-versa. The higher the individual’s level of mindfulness the greater the negative relationship.

 

Hence, mindfulness is associated with greater mutual inhibition between the three neural networks. The more mindful the individual is the greater the difference between the networks’ activities. This suggests that mindfulness is associated with neural system interactions, such that their activities become more distinct. When focused on the present moment mind wandering is much less in a mindful individual. Similarly, when mind wandering is present in that mindful individual, focus on the present moment is lower.

 

Thus the neural systems reflect the observations that mindful people have more focused attention on their mental state than less mindful people. Their brains appear better able to separate out and focus on specific mental states. Hence the brains of mindful people are tuned to and probably underlie their abilities to pay attention in the present moment nonjudgmentally.

 

So, practice mindfulness and get your neural networks more connected.

 

“The brain is like a muscle. When it is in use we feel very good. Understanding is joyous.” – Carl Sagan
CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

Be Mindful of the “Shoulds” and “Coulds”

psyjdc Leave a comment

should

 

Humans torment themselves with “shoulds” and “coulds”. “Things should be this way.” “I could have made a different choice.” “He could have done this for her.” “She shouldn’t have said that.” “I should work harder.” My son should call home more often.” “I shouldn’t have done that.” “I should plan more for the future.” “I could go to church more often.” “I should be doing better,” etc. The list could go on endlessly.

All of these “shoulds” and “coulds” do nothing to change anything except for our happiness. They produce regrets, dismay, and dislike of ourselves and others. Since “should” and “could” imply that we are not acting or feeling as we might, it suggests that we are flawed. This then becomes the source for low self-esteem. Since “should” implies that others aren’t as good as we’d like or expect them to be, it suggests they are unworthy. This then becomes the source for gossip, putting others down, and dislike.

Every time that we say “should” or “could” it is a blatant admission that we’re unhappy with ourselves, things, or others as they are. We want them to be different. The discrepancy between what is and what we want it to be makes us unhappy with the way they are. This is the very essence of suffering. How can one be happy if thing are not right, if they “should” or “could” be different.

The secret to happiness is learning to accept things as they are. This doesn’t mean that we like or endorse what is, we simply accept it as reality. We can see all of the suffering and injustice in the world, not like it, and prefer that it wasn’t there, but recognizing that this is the way it is. This then suggests that the key to our happiness is learning to accept the world, ourselves, and others just as they are.

How can we do this? Mindfulness practice is a key to accepting things as they are. It helps us focus on the present moment. “Shoulds” and “coulds” revolve around the past. Being in the now there can be no “should” or “coulds”. There is only what is at the moment.

If we pay careful attention to the present moment we can begin to see that nothing is lacking. Everything that is needed right now is completely present. There is wonder and beauty in what is present in front of us. Happiness can become a simple constant state. It’s not an ecstasy or a high, but an enduring state of joy. If we can open our eyes without “should” or “could” it is more than possible, it is inevitable.

Unfortunately, there always seems to be this inner voice reminding us of what “should” or “could” be or have been. It is hard to be happy when we’re being constantly reminded by ourselves that things would be better if they were different. To find that happiness that is always there inside us, we need to quiet that voice or recognize that it is only a thought and let it go. This is where practice comes in. We must work at it. We have too long a history of busy minds and listening to the inner voice. It will take a while to learn a different way.

Stick with the practice. Be persistent. It will slowly begin to quite the mind. We will gradually learn to recognize that the inner voice is only a thought produced by a deluded mind and learn to ignore it, just let it pass through like a piece of dust in the wind. Remember, that if we’re willing to invest this time and effort we can indeed find the peace and happiness that is always present right here and right now.

So, practice and learn to find joy in things as they are.

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

Meditation Techniques – Body Scan Meditation

psyjdc 7 Comments

 

“It’s amazing to me that simultaneously completely preoccupied with the appearance of our own body and at the same time completely out of touch with it as well.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

In prior posts we discussed Breath Meditation

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1057076937649565/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/24/beginning-meditation-getting-started-3-breath-following-2/

Open Monitoring Meditation

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1057568944267031/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/25/beginning-meditation-getting-started-4-open-monitoring-meditation/

and Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM) practice.

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1057979894225936/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/26/meditation-techniques-loving-kindness-meditation/

Today we will discuss another meditation technique, Body Scan Meditation. This technique is excellent for bringing present moment awareness to all of the sensations throughout the body. It can help to increase your awareness of precisely how each part of your body is feeling at the present moment. We’d appreciate hearing comments and suggestions from others. There are many paths!

Many people go through their day with very little awareness of the feelings and sensations from their bodies. This can be a major problem as these sensations carry important messages. They can reflect your state of health or even reveal emotions that you were unaware were affecting you. It can make you much more aware of when you’re experiencing stress, allowing you to better manage it. It can heighten your awareness of the non-verbal cues that you may be sending others, allowing you to better understand other peoples’ responses to you. As the proverb goes “know thyself” and Body Scan meditation can help.

To begin the meditation lie down on the floor on a mat or pad on stretched out on your back with your hands alongside your body. Gently close your eyes. There will be a tendency to fall asleep during the practice as the deep relaxation takes its toll on your awakeness. Don’t be concerned if you do fall asleep, many people do. But try to “fall awake” and really focus your attention. If you can feel yourself getting very sleepy you might try opening your eyes.

For a couple of minutes just relax and move your attention to the sensations from throughout your body, skin, muscles, joints, and internal organs. Feel the energy of life throughout. Now move your attention to the toes on your right foot. Feel the sensations from your toes, noting any tension, pain or discomfort, but particularly just become aware of everything you feel from your toes. Try to watch your breathing and imagine the air moving into and out of your toes on its way to the lungs with every breath. If you don’t feel anything, don’t worry, just note it and move on.

Now do the same thing for the bottom of your foot, moving your attention to the sensations from the top of your foot and then breathing through it. Take your time and fully appreciate the sensations. Then move on and repeat the process for the bottom of the foot, then the ankle, followed by the lower leg, the knee, the upper leg and thigh, the pelvis, and the hip. The entire process is then repeated for the left leg moving from toes to hip.

After completing the scan of the left hip repeat the process for the abdomen, the lower back, the upper back, the chest, the shoulder blades, the armpits and the shoulders. Then moving on to the sensations from the fingers on both the left and right sides simultaneously, back of the hands, front of the hands, wrists, forearms, elbows, and upper arms. Then move your attention to the sensations from the neck, the throat, the jaw, the lips, the nose, the cheeks, the ears, the eyes and eyelids, the forehead, the top of your head, and the back of your head.

After completing the scan, just relax like you did in the beginning, feeling the sensations from throughout your body. Just lie there for a few minutes silently enjoying the peace and quiet, with full awareness of your body and all the sensations from all over it. Experience the wonder of your body. Experience the awesome vehicle of your life. Feel the life everywhere throughout. Luxuriate in the sensations and simply enjoy being alive.

There are many variations of the body scan. You might do well to find a guided body scan meditation on the web and use it to guide you initially. But, eventually move on to doing your own body scan as you find it works best for you. Remember that this is a practice and must be repeated on a regular schedule. But if you do, you’ll be amazed at the relaxation and stress relief it brings, the ongoing awareness of the sensations from your body, and the appreciation for your living body.

So, practice the Body Scan meditation and get in touch with your body.

“Through practising body scan awareness meditation, we can greatly reduce the detrimental effects of stress and make our working lives pleasant and enjoyable.” ― Christopher Dines

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

Meditation Techniques – Loving Kindness Meditation

psyjdc 6 Comments

 

In the last posts we discussed beginning meditation practice building up to open monitoring meditation practice.

Beginning Meditation – Getting Started 4 – Open Monitoring Meditation

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1057568944267031/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/25/beginning-meditation-getting-started-4-open-monitoring-meditation/

Beginning Meditation – Getting Started 3 – Breath Following 2

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/24/beginning-meditation-getting-started-3-breath-following-2/

Beginning Meditation – Getting Started 2 – Breath Following 1

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/23/208/

Today we will begin to discuss other meditation techniques and practices, starting with Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM). This is a simple but very powerful practice. We’d appreciate hearing comments and suggestions from others. There are many paths!

Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM) is designed to develop kindness and compassion to oneself and others. This is a seemingly ridiculously simple technique, but research has demonstrated that it is very impactful. This is true even if you are already a kind and compassionate person. Engaging in the practice will further reinforce and enhance it further. (see Loving Kindness Meditation and the Disease of the West http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/17/loving-kindness-meditation-and-the-disease-of-the-west/

In western culture it is quite common for people to have a negative view of themselves, often feeling inadequate and unworthy or simply disliking themselves. So, for westerners, practicing loving kindness to themselves is particularly important. It is essential that we learn to be kind and compassionate toward ourselves. This is the foundation for honest and sincere kindness and compassion for others. So, pay particular attention to and carefully practice LKM toward the self.

LKM starts exactly like every meditation in a comfortable posture with the eyes lightly closed. Begin whatever meditation practice is your current practice and continue for a couple of minutes until you feel calm and focused. Then begin by bringing lovingkindness to yourself. Envision a time when you felt completely loved and accepted. Let yourself fully engage in the memory, feeling what it was like, feeling the inner sensations and the ease of well-being. Once you have this fully present begin slowly and meaningfully to say to yourself while maintaining the lovingkindness feelings:

“May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.”

With each statement use the lovingkindness feelings to reinforce the wish to yourself. Wholeheartedly engage in honestly wishing yourself well and visualize how it would feel to truly be happy, well, safe, and peaceful. Sincerely make these wishes in the unshakable knowledge that you deserve to be happy, well, safe, and peaceful. Repeat the process around three times. But, you can adjust this as you get experience with the meditation to a number that is comfortable and seems appropriate to you.

After completing sending lovingkindness to yourself move on to wishing lovingkindness to others. Start with someone who you are close to and care deeply about. Visualize that person and hold him/her in your heart and repeat the lovingkindness phrases with sincerity, truly wishing them well. Repeat the process around three times.

Now move on again to a person you know who may be going through hard times and difficult challenges. Visualize that person and hold him/her in your heart and repeat the lovingkindness phrases with a heartfelt desire that they feel happy, well, safe, and peaceful. Repeat the process again around three times.

Next move on to someone you know but are not particularly close or have strong feelings about, perhaps a neighbor or a work associate. Visualize that person and hold him/her in your heart and repeat the lovingkindness phrases with a heartfelt desire that they feel happy, well, safe, and peaceful. Visualize that your words actually take effect within that person. Repeat the process again around three times.

Finally comes the most challenging practice. Think of someone who you truly dislike or who has harmed you or simply someone who you have a particularly difficult time with. Visualize that person and hold him/her in your heart and repeat the lovingkindness phrases. See that person as a human being who, like everyone, needs happiness, wellness, safety, and peace. This may be difficult but recognize that for you to be a truly compassionate person you must really want everyone to be well, unconditionally.  Repeat the process again around three times.

Depending upon the length of your meditation you may repeat this whole process by going back to wishing happiness, wellness, safety, and peace to yourself, to a loved one, to someone in need, to a neutral person, and again to a disliked person.

There are many variations of the lovingkindness words. Find a set that feels comfortable, natural, and real for you, a set that you can repeat without having to think about it or search memory for the exact words. In fact the actual words don’t matter. It is the engagement in wishing well and really feeling it that is most important.

Try this practice. You may be amazed at how good it makes you feel and how much it alters your view and approach toward yourself and others. Remember that it is a practice and has to be engaged in repeatedly over time to be effective.

So, practice lovingkindness meditation and strengthen your compassionate nature.

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

Beginning Meditation – Getting Started 4 – Open Monitoring Meditation

psyjdc 13 Comments

 

In the last two posts we discussed breath meditation practice.

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1056602071030385/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/23/208/

and

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1057076937649565/?type=1&theater

http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/07/24/beginning-meditation-getting-started-3-breath-following-2/

Today we will discuss open monitoring meditation. This is the next logical step in the development of your practice. We’d appreciate hearing comments and suggestions from others. There are many paths!

We left off with following the breath meditation practice. As we moved from counting every inbreath and every outbreath to silently following the sensations associated with breathing we moved from a very focused task with internal speech (counting) to a silent, much more unfocused, task of attending to all of the body sensations associated with breathing. The idea is to remove the mind from the process and thereby let the mind quiet.

Open monitoring meditation goes one step further. In this practice we open up our awareness to everything that we’re experiencing regardless of its origin. We still pay attention to the sensations associated with breathing but open it up further to all bodily sensations, including the feelings from the skin of touch, coldness or hotness, the pressure exerted by gravity on our rear ends sitting on the chair or cushion, tingling sensations on the skin and elsewhere, sensations from muscles and joints, sensations of balance and body position, the subtle feeling of our heart beating with the consequent blood pressure surges, and the feelings from our internal organs such as from our stomachs, bowels, bladder, etc.

In addition, we open up our awareness and pay attention to external stimuli, sights, sounds, tastes, and smells. Even with our eyes closed we can perceive visual stimulation, some due to light penetrating the eyelids and some due to spontaneous activity in the neural systems underlying vision. In open monitoring meditation we let it all into awareness and don’t try to focus on any one thing or exclude anything.

The openness extends to thoughts. Although we don’t try to engage in thinking, thoughts will inevitably arise anyway. In open monitoring meditation we don’t try to stop them. We just watch them rising up and falling away. As a friend remarked we let them in the front door and out the back and don’t serve them tea! We don’t judge them or censure ourselves for having them, no matter what their content. We just observe them and let them go.

There’s a lot going on and it is impossible to take it all in at once. You just let it happen. Let attention go where it may. But, don’t hold onto anything. Just let it naturally flow. Don’t try to pay attention to one thing or another. Just let whatever captures attention capture it and allow it to shift whenever it does. Don’t judge the experiences that you have as pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad, right or wrong, interesting or dull. Just experience them as they are.

As Adyashanti likes to say, we simply “let everything be as it is.” This sounds simple but it is devilishly difficult. The mind easily drifts away and our mind wanders. There is nothing to hold it, nothing to entertain it, so it wanders away. This meditation involves frequent mind wandering. This is different than simply watching the thoughts. You’ve been taken away by your thought and aren’t watching them, you’ve become them. But, don’t worry. This is what happens normally and to some extent will continue even after years of practice. When you notice this happening, just gently return to your open awareness feeling grateful for reentering a peaceful state.

Be patient, slowly but surely, the mind wandering will happen less and less often for shorter and shorter periods and open monitoring will increase in duration. All of the mind activity will slowly dissipate and you’ll open up to a beautiful, peaceful, quiet experience.

After you’ve completed the proscribed length of the meditation again review your experience. Ask yourself what thoughts arose and why. It may be as simple as some sight or sound captured your attention and the mind followed, dwelled on it, and free associated to it. But often there are repeating themes that can be seen as indicative of your wants and needs or unresolved issues. It can be very illuminating to follow up on these. Ponder them for they can be very revealing.

Often during the meditation you will begin to go deep into the experience when suddenly the mind takes over and tries to control the experience. This sometimes occurs with an overt sensation of fear. Take a careful look at this. The mind may be acting as if it’s threatened and doesn’t want you to proceed further. This is a wonderful indicator that you’re really making progress. You may not think so, but it is. Deep, deep, meditative states are often resisted by the mind. When this happens take it as a sign that you’re on the right track.

The mind will often subtly silently take control and direct your attention to one thing or another. It takes some experience to detect the difference from true free open experience and that directly silently behind the scenes by the mind. You may think that you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be. The mind can be tricky. Stay with your practice and persevere. These mind takeovers will occur less and less often.

Practice open monitoring meditation and begin to see things simply as they are.

CMCS