We are social animals. Alone we are weak and vulnerable and would not have fared well in evolution. But, in concert with others we have dominated our world. By working together in organized society we have not only been able to provide for a vast population but create technical wonders expanding interpersonal interaction possibilities. It is obvious that we depend upon one another and that, in general, is a good thing.
We are born totally helpless. We are completely dependent upon our parents and would perish without them. We take decades to fully develop and become completely independent of our parents. There is no other creature on the planet that takes so long to become independent. But we never really are independent, as the saying goes, “No man is an island”– John Donne. Independence simply means that we can guide ourselves through the intricacies of societal dependencies without another person directing us. That independence notwithstanding, we are forever dependent on others.
This is healthy. But, if that dependency is so strong that it interferes with the individual’s ability to live a happy and productive life then it becomes a personality disorder, called Maladaptive Interpersonal Dependency (MID). It is “characterized by the tendency to overrely on others for nurturance, support, and guidance. … the perception of oneself as weak and helpless, along with the perception of others as strong and powerful. . . fears of negative evaluation, fears of abandonment, and . . . passivity, submissiveness, reassurance seeking” Andrew McClintock. This pattern is associated with a number of other psychological disorders, but the most serious is an association with suicidality.
There is little known about MID and there are currently no empirically demonstrated effective treatments available. Mindfulness, however, has been shown to reduce interpersonal dependency (see http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/2015/11/21/be-less-dependent-upon-others-with-mindfulness/). So, it would seem reasonable to suspect that it may be effective for Maladaptive Interpersonal Dependency (MID). In today’s Research News article “Mindfulness Therapy for Maladaptive Interpersonal Dependency: A Preliminary Randomized Controlled Trial.”
McClintock and colleagues examined the ability of a mindfulness based treatment, Mindfulness Therapy for Maladaptive Interpersonal Dependency (MT-MID), to relieve the symptoms of MID in comparison to an equally time intensive control condition. They documented a significant improvement in interpersonal dependency produced by the MT-MID treatment. This occurred with a large effect size, indicating a clinically meaningful impact on MID.
McClintock and colleagues reported that the mindfulness treatment group had significantly higher mindfulness and significantly lower maladaptive dependency, helplessness, fears of negative evaluation, and excessive reassurance-seeking as compared to control participants. They also found that these effects were mediated by the increased mindfulness. In other words the MT-MID treatment increased mindfulness which, in turn, produced the relief of MID symptoms. The effects were still present a month after the end of the program, indicating that MT-MID produces sustained benefit for Maladaptive Interpersonal Dependency.
These results are potentially very important suggesting that a mindfulness based treatment program is effective for the clinical treatment of a personality disorder, MID, for which there was previously no known treatment. But, how can increases in mindfulness improve interpersonal dependency?
It is likely that interpersonal dependency is maintained by heightened levels of fear and anxiety and low self-esteem. Mindfulness has a number of known effects that may underlie its effectiveness for interpersonal dependency. It has been shown to reduce fear and anxiety (see http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/category/research-news/anxiety/ and http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/category/research-news/fear/) and to improve self-esteem (see http://contemplative-studies.org/wp/index.php/category/research-news/self-esteem/). So, mindfulness addresses some of the problems underlying MID. It would seem reasonable to infer that these were the changes induced by mindfulness training that were responsible for its effectiveness for MID.
So, practice mindfulness and be less dependent upon others.
“Authority is not a quality one person ‘has,’ in the sense that he has property or physical qualities. Authority refers to an interpersonal relation in which one person looks upon another as somebody superior to him.” ― Erich Fromm
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
John Donne
CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies