family

Mindfulness Levels are Associated with Different Leisure Activities

psyjdc Leave a comment

Mindfulness Levels are Associated with Different Leisure Activities

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“we see an increasing amount of people in all sectors of life exploring ways to become more grounded through yoga, diet, and mindfulness. This yearning is making its way into our homes as many of us have searched for practices and experiences to slow down and bring more connection into our family life as well.“ – Elisha Goldstein

 

We strive for success and achievement. We work for years to attain an academic degree that we can place on our resume and use as the basis for the next entries on our resume revolving around our career. We measure our success by our titles and the wealth we accumulate. Striving to do well in life and make a comfortable living are good things. They can, of course, become a problem when they are overemphasized and become the predominant focus in our lives to the exclusion of the other aspects of life that are the true source of happiness and satisfaction. Mindfulness can help but the relationship of mindfulness to other activities in our lives have not been well explored.

 

In today’s Research News article “Associations between Leisure Preferences, Mindfulness, Psychological Capital, and Life Satisfaction.” (See summary below or view the full text of the study at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8998282/ ) Dirzyte and colleagues recruited healthy adults and had them complete measures of satisfaction with life, psychological capital, mindfulness, and leisure preferences including “watching television”, “book reading”, “spending time in nature”, “spending time with family”, “spending time with friends”, “participating in events”, “going to meditation/yoga classes”, and “other”.

 

They found that not watching television and spending time with family during free time was associated with higher levels of mindfulness, life satisfaction, and psychological capital. For males, life satisfaction was associated with time spent in nature, mindfulness was associated with book reading, while psychological capital was associated with spending time with family. For females, life satisfaction was associated with spending time with family, mindfulness was associated with not watching television, while psychological capital was associated with spending time with family, participating in events, and spending time in nature.

 

These results are correlational and no inferences about causation can be made. But it is clear that the association of mindfulness and life satisfaction with leisure activities is complex. different for men and women, and not watching television and spending time with family appear to be particularly improtant.

 

“see if you can simplify your life in certain ways.  If you fill up all your time, you won’t have any.  Simplifying may mean prioritizing the things that you have to versus what you want to do. “ – Integrated Stress Management

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Twitter @MindfulResearch

 

Study Summary

 

Dirzyte, A., Patapas, A., & Perminas, A. (2022). Associations between Leisure Preferences, Mindfulness, Psychological Capital, and Life Satisfaction. International journal of environmental research and public health, 19(7), 4121. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19074121

 

Abstract

This study intended to explore which leisure preferences contribute to mindfulness, psychological capital, and life satisfaction and assess whether mindfulness, psychological capital, and life satisfaction are associated with different leisure preferences. This study applied the Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS), the Psychological Capital Questionnaire (PCQ-12), the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS), and the instrument to evaluate the prevalence of leisure preferences. A sample consisted of 586 participants, 104 males and 478 females. The mean age of participants was 42.06, SD = 13.29. The results show that respondents who did not spend free time watching television scored higher on life satisfaction, mindfulness, and psychological capital. Participants who preferred attending events scored higher on life satisfaction and psychological capital. Participants who preferred spending time with family as a leisure preference scored significantly higher on life satisfaction, mindfulness, and psychological capital, including PsyCap overall, PsyCap work, PsyCap relationship, and PsyCap health. The findings also reveal that time spent with family is significantly associated with life satisfaction. Besides, males’ life satisfaction was significantly associated with time spent in nature, while females’ satisfaction was associated with spending time with family and participating in events. Males’ mindfulness was significantly associated with book reading, and females’ mindfulness was associated with not watching television. Males’ psychological capital was significantly associated with spending time with family and book reading, and females’ psychological capital was associated with not watching television but spending time with family, participating in events, and spending time in nature. The findings also showed that mindfulness mediated the link between watching television and life satisfaction, and psychological capital mediated links between spending time with family, participating in events, and life satisfaction. The findings demonstrate that life satisfaction is also significantly associated with spending time with family as a leisure preference. This study also revealed a significant negative association between age and spending time with friends or family, evidencing the possible loneliness of elderly respondents. Due to limitations of this study, including sample size and characteristics, cultural context, and research design, the research findings would preferably be regarded thoughtfully.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8998282/

 

Improve Well-Being During Covid-19 Lockdown with Yoga and Meditation

psyjdc Leave a comment

Improve Well-Being During Covid-19 Lockdown with Yoga and Meditation

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Practicing mindfulness and meditation may help you manage stress and high blood pressure, sleep better, feel more balanced and connected, and even lower your risk of heart disease.” American Heart Association

 

The Covid-19 pandemic has challenged the mental and physical health of the population. It has created intense stress both for frontline workers but also for people simply isolating at home. Mindfulness training has been shown to improve health and well-being in healthy individuals and those with medical and psychiatric conditions, Similarly, yoga practice has been shown to improve health and well-being in healthy individuals and those with medical and psychiatric conditions.  Meditation practice is known to decrease the psychological and physical responses to stress. Similarly, yoga practice has been shown to decrease the psychological and physical responses to stress. So, mindfulness and yoga practices may be helpful in coping with the mental and physical challenges resulting from the Covid-19 pandemic and lockdown.

 

In today’s Research News article “A cross–sectional study of mental wellbeing with practice of yoga and meditation during Covid-19 pandemic.” (See summary below or view the full text of the study at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8144767/ ) Priyanka and colleagues recruited adults over the internet during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown and had them complete a questionnaire measuring yoga practice, meditation practice, mental well-being, change in eating and sleeping, and the effects of the lockdown on mental health. The participants were separated into 4 groups, yoga only (18%), meditation only (21%), meditation plus yoga (35%), and no yoga or meditation.

 

They found that normal well-being scores were present in 66% of participants who practiced both yoga and meditation, 62% of those practicing meditation only, 60% of those practicing yoga only and 50.6% of people who practiced none. They also found that the greater the number of years practicing and the more frequent the practice the greater the proportion of participants with normal well-being scores.  A similar association of yoga and meditation practices was found with the change in eating, sleeping pattern, and family relations.

 

These results are correlational and as such caution must be exercised in concluding causation. But it has been previously shown that contemplative practices improve well-being, sleep, eating, and family relations. So, it is likely that the present results are due to yoga and meditation producing these benefits. The results, then, suggest that practicing yoga and meditation help to maintain mental well-being during a stressful pandemic lockdown and practicing both produces optimum benefits. They also suggest that the greater the frequency of practice and years practicing the greater the benefits. This suggests that practicing yoga and meditation help to relieve stress during difficult times, improving overall well-being.

 

So, improve well-being during Covid-19 lockdown with yoga and meditation.

 

“mindfulness meditation is related to improved mental health across a variety of disorders, including different anxiety disorders, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, and chronic pain symptom reduction.” – Jennifer Wolkin

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts and on Twitter @MindfulResearch

 

Study Summary

 

Priyanka, & Rasania, S. K. (2021). A cross–sectional study of mental wellbeing with practice of yoga and meditation during COVID-19 pandemic. Journal of family medicine and primary care, 10(4), 1576–1581. https://doi.org/10.4103/jfmpc.jfmpc_2367_20

 

Abstract

Background:

COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in increased mental health issues. Yoga and meditation can help in alleviating mental stress and improving psychological wellbeing.

Methods:

It was a community-based online cross-sectional study involving adult general population. Data collection was done by using a Google form link that was circulated via online platforms. The data were analyzed using Microsoft Excel and SPSS version 22. Qualitative data were expressed in proportions or percentages and quantitative data were expressed in mean and standard deviation. Chi-square test was used to check the association of various factors and mental wellbeing.

Results:

A total of 649 (58.4%) subjects had normal mental wellbeing score, whereas 279 (25.1%) were found to be at risk of developing psychological distress and 184 (16.5%) were at risk of depression. A significantly larger proportion of subjects with normal mental wellbeing was found with the practice of both yoga and meditation (66.2%), followed by practice of only meditation (62.1%), only yoga (59.9%), and none of them (50.6%). A similar association of yoga and meditation practices was found with the change in eating, sleeping patterns, and family relations. The frequency of practice was positively associated with a higher level of mental wellbeing in the case of both yoga as well as meditation, with daily practice having the highest wellbeing scores.

Conclusion:

The practice of yoga and meditation, preferably both of them, is associated with higher level of mental wellbeing during the COVID-19 pandemic.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8144767/

 

Have Better Sex with Mindfulness

psyjdc Leave a comment

Have Better Sex with Mindfulness

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Mindful sex involves being able to observe and describe what’s happening inside your body and mind without sorting experiences into “bad” and “good” or trying to change your feelings. When we are able to do that, we can “turn off the autopilot.” – Gina Silverstein

 

Sex is a very important aspect of life. Problems with sex are very common and have negative consequences for relationships. While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common, it is a topic that many people are hesitant or embarrassed to discuss. Women suffer from sexual dysfunction more than men with 43% of women and 31% of men reporting some degree of difficulty. Hence, sex has major impacts on people’s lives and relationships. Greater research attention to sexual activity and sexual satisfaction and the well-being of the individual is warranted.

 

Mindfulness trainings have been shown to improve a variety of psychological issues including emotion regulation, stress responses, trauma, fear and worry, anxiety, and depression, and self-esteem. Mindfulness training has also been found to improve relationships and to be useful in treating sexual problems. But there is little empirical research on the relationship of mindfulness with sexuality in normal, non-clinical, individuals.

 

In today’s Research News article “Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample.” (See summary below or view the full text of the study at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7908537/ )  Sánchez-Sánchez and colleagues recruited online adults who were meditation naïve or who practiced meditation for at least 5 months. They completed measures online of mindfulness, body awareness, sexual satisfaction, sexual activity, and sexual fantasies.

 

They found that the meditation practitioners were significantly higher in emotion regulation, family, academics, relationships, sociability, attention, health, sexuality, and leisure and significantly lower in perceived stress. They were also significantly higher in mindfulness, body awareness, sexual satisfaction, sexual activity, and sexual fantasies. They also found that the higher the levels of mindfulness and the amount of mindfulness practice, the higher the levels of body awareness sexual satisfaction and sexual activity. Also, they found that the higher the levels of mindfulness the lower the levels of body dissociation.

 

It should be kept in mind that there was no random assignment and so the groups may be quite different, People who meditate may be systematically different from those who don’t in many ways including the variables measured in this study. But previous research including randomized studies demonstrated that mindfulness produced higher levels of emotion regulation, family, academics, relationships, sociability, attention, health, and sexuality, and lower levels of stress. So, the present findings likely also represent causal connections.

 

These findings suggest that mindfulness is associated with better psychological and physical health and well-being. They also suggest that mindfulness is associated with better sexual function in terms of sexual activity, satisfaction with sex, and relationship quality and even a better sexual fantasy life. Sex is such an important aspect of life that many of the other psychological and physical benefits of mindfulness may emanate from the improved sex life of the individuals. Much more research is needed.

 

So, have better sex with mindfulness.

 

“Think of mindful sex as an invitation, as an opportunity to explore the mystery of sex. The reward is deeper intimacy, more meaningful connections, and (fingers crossed) greater physical pleasure.” – Kayti Christian

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts and on Twitter @MindfulResearch

 

Study Summary

 

Sánchez-Sánchez, L. C., Rodríguez, M., García-Montes, J. M., Petisco-Rodríguez, C., & Fernández-García, R. (2021). Mindfulness in Sexual Activity, Sexual Satisfaction and Erotic Fantasies in a Non-Clinical Sample. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(3), 1161. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18031161

 

Abstract

The goal of this study is to better understand the relation between the practice of Mindfulness and the sexual activity, sexual satisfaction and erotic fantasies of Spanish-speaking participants. This research focuses on the comparison between people who practice Mindfulness versus naïve people, and explores the practice of Mindfulness and its relation with the following variables about sexuality: body awareness and bodily dissociation, personal sexual satisfaction, partner and relationship-related satisfaction, desire, subjective sexual arousal, genital arousal, orgasm, pain, attitudes towards sexual fantasies and types of sexual fantasies. The sample consisted of 106 selected adults, 32 men and 74 women, who completed six measures on an online survey platform: (a) Mindfulness Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS), (b) Scale of Body Connection (SBC), (c) New Sexual Satisfaction Scale (NSSS), (d) Scale of Sexual Activity in Women (SSA-W) and Men (SSA-M), (e) Hurlbert Index of Sexual Fantasy (HISF), (f) Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. In the MAAS, Body Awareness subscale (SBC), NSSS, SSA-W and SSA-M, HISF and intimate fantasies subscale (Wilson’s questionnaire), people in the Mindfulness condition showed higher scores and these differences were statistically significant. These results may have relevant implications in the sexuality of clinical and non-clinical samples.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7908537/

 

Reduce Parenting Stress and Improve Youth Psychological Health with Mindfulness

psyjdc Leave a comment

Reduce Parenting Stress and Improve Youth Psychological Health with Mindfulness

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Mindful parenting means that you bring your conscious attention to what’s happening, instead of getting hijacked by your emotions. Mindfulness is about letting go of guilt and shame about the past and focusing on right now. It’s about accepting whatever is going on, rather than trying to change it or ignore it.” – Jill Ceder

 

Raising children, parenting, is very rewarding. But it can also be challenging. Children test parents frequently. They test the boundaries of their freedom and the depth of parental love. They demand attention and seem to especially when parental attention is needed elsewhere. They don’t always conform to parental dictates or aspirations for their behavior. The challenges of parenting require that the parents be able to deal with stress, to regulate their own emotions, and to be sensitive and attentive their child. These skills are exactly those that are developed in mindfulness training. It improves the psychological and physiological responses to stress. It improves emotion regulation. It improves the ability to maintain attention and focus in the face of high levels of distraction.

 

Mindful parenting involves the parents having emotional awareness of themselves and compassion for the child and having the skills to pay full attention to the child in the present moment, to accept parenting non-judgmentally and be emotionally non-reactive to the child. Mindful parenting has been shown to have positive benefits for both the parents and the children. The research is accumulating. So, it is important to review and summarize what has been learned.

 

In today’s Research News article “The Effect of Mindfulness Interventions for Parents on Parenting Stress and Youth Psychological Outcomes: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” (See summary below or view the full text of the study at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6562566/), Burgdorf and colleagues review, summarize, and perform a meta-analysis of the published research studies on the effects of mindfulness training on parents and children. They found 25 published studies.

 

They report that the published research studies found that following mindfulness training there were moderate to large reductions in parental stress levels. They also found that parental mindfulness training improved their children with significant improvements observed in internalizing and externalizing symptoms, in higher level thinking ability (cognitive domains), and in their social function. In addition, the greater the reductions in parental stress levels reported, the greater the improvements in youth cognitive abilities and externalizing symptoms. Hence, mindfulness training for parents affected the family positively, reducing the perceived stress of parenting and improving their children’s psychological and social abilities. Mindfulness training would appear to have very positive benefits for parents and children.

 

So, reduce parenting stress and improve youth psychological health with mindfulness.

 

“It seems there’s no one right way to parent mindfully. Happily, there are many right ways. . . And sometimes, “It’s as simple as practicing paying full attention to our kids, with openness and compassion, and maybe that’s enough at any moment.” – Juliann Garey

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts and on Twitter @MindfulResearch

 

Study Summary

 

Burgdorf, V., Szabó, M., & Abbott, M. J. (2019). The Effect of Mindfulness Interventions for Parents on Parenting Stress and Youth Psychological Outcomes: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 1336. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01336

 

Abstract

Background: The psychological well-being of parents and children is compromised in families characterized by greater parenting stress. As parental mindfulness is associated with lower parenting stress, a growing number of studies have investigated whether mindfulness interventions can improve outcomes for families. This systematic review and meta-analysis evaluates the effectiveness of mindfulness interventions for parents, in reducing parenting stress and improving youth psychological outcomes.

Methods: A literature search for peer-reviewed articles and dissertations was conducted in accordance with PRISMA guidelines in the PsycInfo, Medline, PubMed, CINAHL, Web of Science, Cochrane Central Register of Controlled Trials, and ProQuest Dissertations & Theses databases. Studies were included if they reported on a mindfulness-based intervention delivered in person to parents with the primary aim of reducing parenting stress or improving youth psychological outcomes.

Results: Twenty-five independent studies were included in the review. Eighteen studies used a single group design and six were randomized controlled trials. Within-groups, meta-analysis indicated a small, post-intervention reduction in parenting stress (g = 0.34), growing to a moderate reduction at 2 month follow-up (g = 0.53). Overall, there was a small improvement in youth outcomes (g = 0.27). Neither youth age or clinical status, nor time in mindfulness training, moderated parenting stress or overall youth outcome effects. Youth outcomes were not moderated by intervention group attendees. Change in parenting stress predicted change in youth externalizing and cognitive effects, but not internalizing effects. In controlled studies, parenting stress reduced more in mindfulness groups than control groups (g = 0.44). Overall, risk of bias was assessed as serious.

Conclusions: Mindfulness interventions for parents may reduce parenting stress and improve youth psychological functioning. While improvements in youth externalizing and cognitive outcomes may be explained by reductions in parenting stress, it appears that other parenting factors may contribute to improvements in youth internalizing outcomes. Methodological weaknesses in the reviewed literature prevent firm conclusions from being drawn regarding effectiveness. Future research should address these methodological issues before mindfulness interventions for parents are recommended as an effective treatment option for parents or their children.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6562566/

 

Mindful Fatherhood

psyjdc Leave a comment

Mindful Fatherhood

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“Mindful Fathering is the act of consciously checking into your life as a father. It’s about staying present in your life as a father, observing the dreary, ugly, and painful parts of fathering with acceptance and non-judgement, and honoring those parts with our full attention, just as we honor the wonderful and sublime moments of fatherhood, rather than numbing ourselves out of our lives through substances, technology, or boredom.” – MindfulFathering

 

Fathers’ Day, like Mother’s Day was basically invented and promoted by the greeting card and florist industries. But, even though its origins were crass, the idea took off, because it hit upon a truth; that most of us love our fathers. As a result, Fathers’ Day has become a culturally accepted and encouraged time for the celebration of fatherhood and all that it means. The deep bonds and love that most people feel for their fathers and their fathers for them fuels the celebration of the holiday.

 

The holiday is also popular as everyone has a father, who in turn, has had a father, who has had a father, etc. Many are, or want to be fathers. It has and always will, play an immensely important role in our individual and societal existence. The effectiveness, or lack thereof, of fathering has a major impact on the children that continues throughout their lives. It is such an important role that it seems reasonable to explore what goes into successful fathering and child rearing and what might be of assistance in improving fathering. There has accumulated a tremendous amount of scientific evidence that mindfulness, (“awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally”) can be an important asset for fathers. So, on this day celebrating fatherhood, we’ll explore the role of mindfulness.

 

Mindfulness has been found to be important to becoming a father in the first place. Mindfulness makes the individual more attractive to the opposite sex, it improves sexual relationships, it helps to relieve infertility, and it improves relationships in general. All of which underscores the importance of mindfulness in improving the likelihood that conception will occur and that the infant will be born into a supportive social context. Mindfulness continues after birth to be of assistance as it improves caregiving and parenting, even in the case where the child has developmental disabilities. Mindfulness not only helps the parents deal with the stresses of childrearing, but developing mindfulness in the child can be of great assistance to helping the kids develop emotionally and cognitively, develop high level thinking, develop healthy self-concepts, develop socially, deal with stress, and cope with trauma and childhood depression. It even improves the child’s psychosocial development and academic performance and grades in school. In addition, it seems to be able to assist children through the troubled times of adolescence.

 

Fathering does not occur in a vacuum. It’s been said that “It takes a village” to rear a child. Indeed, fatherhood is embedded in a community. There are many people who are either directly or indirectly involved, from the mother, to the extended family, the community, the medical profession, teachers, clergy, social workers, childcare workers, and even the government. So relationships become an essential part of fathering from conception, to birth, and family and social life. Mindfulness is important to the father in developing and promoting these social connections that are so important for the child’s development. Mindful people generally connect better and are better liked by others, making them socially much more effective.

 

Why would mindfulness be such an important component of fatherhood? There are a number of reasons that mindfulness helps. It reduces the psychological and physical effects of stress on the father and let’s face it, raising children can be quite stressful. Mindfulness helps the father maintain his health and well-being, and to recover quicker should he become ill. Mindfulness also improves emotion regulation making the father better able to be in touch with his emotions yet react to them adaptively and effectively. This skill is needed as children are capable of learning how to push all the parents buttons and reacting well is essential to dealing successfully with the child.

 

With the increasing frequency of divorce and single parent households, the first and most important function of a father is simply to be present for their child. This may take the form of a traditional family, but may also be as the primary custodian, or only during delineated visitations, or there may be shared responsibility with separate households, or as a step-parent. The mindful father takes this role and his responsibilities to the child very seriously and regardless of the living arrangements invests time and resources in the child. Regardless of the circumstances being mindfully involved in the child’s life is crucial. But being present doesn’t just mean being physically present hanging around. Probably the most important thing a father can do is to simply be present with the child, devoting singular attention to the child. It means attending to the children emotionally, listening carefully, and being caring and compassionate.

 

The essential capacity developed in mindfulness training is paying much greater attention to what’s occurring in the present moment. This can be of immense help to the father. It makes him better attuned to his child’s and to his own needs. It reduces rumination and recriminations about past mistakes. It tends to diminish the worry and anxiety about the future. It helps him to focus on what needs to be done now, making him much more effective. And it helps him to experience the joys of fatherhood to their fullest. In general, by focusing on now, he is tuned into the only time that matters for himself or his child, improving his relationship with reality, dealing with its problems and relishing its wonders.

 

This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness training promotes paying close attention to what is happening in the present moment. So, when interacting with their children a mindful father is truly present for them and not thinking about other things. Mindfulness promotes careful attentive listening. One of the most important things a child wants is to be truly heard. That is the gift of a mindful father. Mindfulness also promotes compassion, being aware of the emotional state of another. This is also important for a child. Childhood can be difficult and being in touch with a child’s moods is an important part of effective fathering. Mindfulness also develops the ability to closely observe without judging the child. This is immensely important for the development of the child’s self-concept and for the flowering of experimentation and creativity. Yes, children need direction, but too much judging can cause harm. So, observing the child with non-judgmental awareness is important for children flourishing.

 

Hence, mindfulness can make fathering better, both for the father, and the child. So, on this important day of celebration of fathers, let’s adopt mindfulness and make it a part of our relationship with our fathers and our children. Most of us love our fathers but we love mindful fathers even more especially when we ourselves are mindful.

 

“But mindfulness is really about being the best parent you can be. When we are mindful, we think about what we are doing and why we are doing it.  If we are grounded in principles, it is easier to be more aware of what is happening at the moment and to be more observant.  Connecting with the deep reasons why we chose to be a parent can help us see what is going on in a clearer light.” – Wayne Parker

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

This and other Contemplative Studies posts are also available on Google+ https://plus.google.com/106784388191201299496/posts and on Twitter @MindfulResearch

 

Improve Parenting with Mindfulness

psyjdc 1 Comment

 

By John M. de Castro, Ph.D.

 

“It’s as simple as practicing paying full attention to our kids, with openness and compassion, and maybe that’s enough at any moment.” – Mark Bertin

 

Raising children, parenting, is very rewarding. But, it can also be challenging. Children test parents frequently. They test the boundaries of their freedom and the depth of parental love. They demand attention and seem to especially when parental attention is needed elsewhere. They don’t always conform to parental dictates or aspirations for their behavior. They are often affected more by peers, for good or evil, than by parents. It is the parents challenge to control themselves, not overreact, and act appropriately in the face of strong emotions. Meeting these challenges becomes more and more important as the youth approaches adolescence, as that is the time of the greatest struggle for independence and the potential for damaging behaviors, particularly, alcohol, drugs, and sexual behavior.

 

The challenges of parenting require that the parent be able to deal with stress, to regulate their own emotions, and to be sensitive and attentive to their child. These skills are exactly those that are developed in mindfulness training. It improves the psychological and physiological responses to stress. It improves emotion regulation. And it improves the ability to maintain attention and focus in the face of high levels of distraction. So, it would seem reasonable to postulate that mindfulness training would improve parenting skills.

 

In today’s Research News article “Integrating Mindfulness with Parent Training: Effects of the Mindfulness-Enhanced Strengthening Families”

https://www.facebook.com/ContemplativeStudiesCenter/photos/a.628903887133541.1073741828.627681673922429/1181707418519849/?type=3&theater

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4485922/

Coatsworth and colleagues add mindfulness training to an empirically validated program for enhancing parenting skills called the Strengthening Families Program (SFP). The mindfulness enhancements were listening with full attention, nonjudgmental acceptance of self and child, emotional awareness of self and child, self-regulation in parenting, and compassion for self and child. They compared families of 6th and 7th grade students randomly assigned to receive either the Strengthening Families Program (SFP), the Mindfulness-Enhanced the Strengthening Families Program (MSFP), or a home study control. Training was delivered in 7 weekly, 2-hour, sessions, where the parents and youth meet in separate sessions.

 

They found that the mothers in both the SFP and MSFP groups self-reported significantly improved levels of self-regulation in parenting, better emotional awareness of youth, greater positive affective/interaction quality with their youths, and higher levels of family involvement than the control group. They also reported better monitoring and alcohol rule communication with their youth. The youths reported that their mothers demonstrated significantly improved listening with full attention, better self-regulation in parenting, and greater compassion/acceptance toward their youths. In terms of the fathers, they found greater emotional awareness of youth, more compassion/acceptance for their youths, more compassion/acceptance for themselves as parents, more positive affective/interaction quality, and higher levels of family involvement. Interestingly, adding the mindfulness component increased the impact of the training for the fathers but not the mothers.

 

The findings clearly demonstrate that the Strengthening Families Program improves parenting and that the addition of a mindfulness component improved its effectiveness for fathers. These results suggest that mindfulness training is important in improving parenting particularly for fathers. These results were found for a particularly important and challenging time for parents, the beginning of the transition to adolescence.

 

So, improve parenting with mindfulness.

 

“Mindful Parenting is a contemplative practice through which our connection to our child, and awareness of our child’s presence, helps us become better grounded in the present moment.” – The Mindful Parent

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies

 

Develop Your Eulogy Virtues

psyjdc Leave a comment

“It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love?” – David Brooks

 

The renowned columnist David Brooks likes to contrast two differing sets of virtues that we aspire to. One he terms the resume virtues, the other the eulogy virtues.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html?_r=0

For the most part the resume virtues predominate for the majority of our lives. We strive for success and achievement. We work for years to attain an academic degree that we can place on our resume and use as the basis for the next entries on our resume revolving around our career. We measure our success by our titles and the wealth we accumulate.

 

The resume virtues are important and striving to do well in life and make a comfortable living are good things. They can, of course, become a problem when they are overemphasized and become the predominant focus in our lives. Too great of a stress on the resume virtues can result in the exclusion of the other aspects of life that are the true source of happiness and satisfaction. These are the eulogy virtues.

 

On the deathbed, people virtually never wish that they had spent more time or effort on developing their resumes, on working harder or being more successful. Rather, they most often decry the fact that they didn’t spend enough time and energy on developing their eulogy virtues. A palliative care nurse once recorded the top five regrets of the dying. They were

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

 

It is clear that to live a full life we have to develop our resumes but it is far more important in the long run that we develop the eulogy virtues. But, how do we do this when the rewards of society and the urgings of our egos all push us towards developing our resumes. The answer may well be contemplative practice. These practices, meditation, yoga, tai chi, contemplative prayer, etc. have been shown to help in developing the exact abilities and experiences longed for by the dying.

 

Contemplative practice focuses us more on experiencing the present moment and doing so without judging it. This provides a better perspective on our lives, seeing ourselves as we are without judgment. This can lead us to follow our hearts and be true to ourselves rather than being a slave to what we perceive others expect. By appreciating the present moment we can learn to enjoy where our lives actually play out, the present moment. This can lead us to even having greater appreciation and enjoyment throughout our lives, even during the time we spend working.

 

Contemplative practice helps us to accept our flaws and accept and appreciate others. As a result it improves relationships and social interactions. It helps us to become better listeners and more compassionate toward others. Increased understanding and compassion for others is a motivator to becoming involved in improving our world.

 

Contemplative practice helps to develop the ability to regulate emotions and improve emotional intelligence. So, we get in better touch with our true feelings and become better able to express them to others.  Importantly, contemplative practice has been shown to increase happiness. We enjoy life and appreciate the wonders that surround us every day.

 

Finally, contemplative practice has been shown to help to develop acceptance of ourselves. Many people do not like themselves. Contemplative practice is an antidote for self-loathing, tending instead to improve self-love. It can help us accept and like ourselves more. It is difficult to truly love others if you don’t love yourself. So, the self-love developed in contemplative practice is a requirement for loving others. It leads inevitably to caring more for others and be willing to express that love.

 

So, engage in contemplative practice and develop your eulogy virtues.

 

“What do most people say on their deathbed? They don’t say, ‘I wish I’d made more money.’ What they say is, ‘I wish I’d spent more time with my family and done more for society or my community.” – David Rubenstein

 

CMCS – Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies